the cYcLes

From past 2 days I am suffering from cold and fever. Seasonal shift is one of the reasons I think. 

And it's a long time, that ghost of writing a book is gone away.   I don’t know whether it’s good or bad that I don’t stick to things for very long.  And  sometimes I personally feel that its good. We people stick to something in our lives. Its good for a living, but remember the cycles have been the reason for all the laziness and boredom. You do a thing again and again and it becomes a habit. And then when it is obvious the life has nothing new. 

In my case it is different. I have derived this property of mine that I never stay somewhere for long from my grandpa. He cant stay somewhere for long. I have tried many times to cultivate that habit, but you know I am not so powerful to alter my DNA. So that plan of writing a book was gone.

You know what?

People don’t really trust me. Reason??

I don’t stick to something, I move on. And people won’t consider me in longer terms, even my parents don’t.

I hate this thing very much, but I can’t prevent it. Or what I realized today that it’s a gift that I flow tremendously and non stop.  Nobody understands that men I am trying my best to thwart this phenomenon going inside me, but my inner power appears to be stronger than me.

It propels me hard, and yes it teaches me a lot. Like the Matrushka thing that happened was a kind of a new experience.

It taught me about one thing called beauty.  It says “beauty is to admire and not to possess.” So I never again tried anything on Matrushka. She was finally back on my friends list.

Oh yes I did not tell you that she was back. And the reason is obvious. I don’t want to rake up another controversy, or make a hell of a girl’s life.  If you are an admirer of the beauty than you must respect that beauty also. Isn’t it??/

 So like I was telling you that we humans are more prone to cycles, and these cycles create boredom, and we must get out of it. People try hard for this and they think I am a gifted soul, as I have this inbuilt characteristic of breaking the cyclic codes.

Yeah I have it, and I accept it, and yes my life I think is one of the most interesting lives ever appeared on earth. But believe me it’s not that easy men. its like a volcano eruption. Its tremendous.  

These days I am watching people looking for jobs as if they need a breath, and me seeking the inner reality similarly. We guys on our own decide our priorities. Some need a job, some need settlements, some need a girlfriend, and some wants to be a topper, and some like me seek the perfection.  It never matters whether you are an amateur or a perfectionist. It’s all same in the end.

The only difference is a perfectionist die with a knowing of self.

This phase of my life has been very confusing. I mean I know better than before but still it seems a lot remains to be understood. Love, hatred, work, laziness, rich, poor, big, small, mean and great   these all are kind of I don’t know what. One is a sweet poison and other a bitter ambrosia.

Whatever the things, the real thing is beyond these extremes, and I am working to dig out the truth.