Ducktales Reloaded

folks!! remember, Uncle Scruz?? ....well that was one of my favorite cartoon series on television...this is the acoustic version of famous ducktales song "zindagi toofani h" on acoustic performed by me yesterday night.Watch it, you're otherwise missing some good times.... :)      

once there was a man called "Obama bin Laden"

 click on the picture to enlarge... its a recall of the times of "osama bin laden " 

Facebook

First of all, I want to thank all those people who read my posts or atleast go in agreement with the favor bank that I discussed earlier in the previous post.

So, the special thing about today’s post is that, the title has nothing to do with the content of post.

 It is like I was glancing through all posts on this blogger site and I saw a post titled “how to drive traffic to your blog.”

It says that more the no. of posts on your blog, more frequently you are to be found on the internet. Furthermore, it says that, look for the most frequently searched topics on the internet. It increases again; the discoverability of your blog.

So I googled the thing as, “most searched words on internet “.

With the numerous links appearing on the screen, I clicked the very first one and it displayed a list of most searched words on internet in the past 48 hours. So the facebook thing was on the 3^rd or 4^th I guess.  And I personally think this is the most searched thing on internet these days. Hence, the title is “Facebook” and nothing to do with the content or may be; everything to do, in the so called “traffic terms.”

 As now, I have discussed this bloody blunder thing with you guys. Let’s get back to our roots, for which I am here for, the writing.

3 days back, I returned from Delhi after 3 months, to my hometown; Dehradun. Coming home has always been a feeling as equivalent as a nirvanic ecstasy for every one of us.  And I think all of you agree with me on that.

Unlike Delhi, Dehradun is a much cooler place, with a moderate pace in daily life.          

It’s at its best during the rainy season, when everything appears green to your eye. It’s like you fall in love with it and want to spend your whole life here in peace and harmony with nature.

After a month or two I felt the strings of my guitar on my fingers. Music has been an integral part of my life from the college days, when I used to sit with my friends and played some bollywood numbers, but most of the time my own compositions. That was the golden period of my life.

When I started writing this post, I did not had the slightest intention of putting something on the internet. But sometimes you cannot withstand the tornado of thoughts overwhelming your mind. So finally I gave up, and was back on my blog.

Readers won’t find it much amusing, nor I. But yes it keeps your emotions flowing freely. And I think release of emotions is very necessary for an artist to bring his creation to perfection whether he is a writer, or a painter, or a musician and so on.

Art is not something based upon the complex mathematical or physical calculations. But it is something to do with heart and soul, to do with the flow.

So I sign off today, promising you some really good stuff next time. And yes, let me see how effective this idea of “Faceboook” proves to be. :)

   

   

  

  

                    

           

thE favoR baNk

Well yesterday, after my comeback on my blog, it was a feeling that sometimes i had meeting some old friend and having a sip of beer together, sitting in some nature park. So yesterday was a busy day and i felt like i have done something useful to myself. A bit of change in design of my blog. Some promotion of my latest post on facebook and other sites. 
Ahhhh!! "The Promotion"!!!
That reminds me of  something. Something, we all are used to in our daily life and something that i first read in one of  Paulo Coelho's books.
You know Coelho?? The author of the best seller "the alchemist"  Don't you?? 
Ok! Leave it. That's not something, i am here for. 


So i was telling you about "something". Well that something is something we call "The Favor Bank." 
Well "some of you" guys with that intuitive instinct might have got the idea what i am talking about and to "the rest" i can say only one thing read on........


Some of you must have noticed that "  " thing in my previous sentence. So to depress your curiousity folks, you can read the previous post on this blog, if you wanna dig it.


So before i tell you about "the favor bank." Let me make it lighter for you.


So yesterday evening when i did all that posting stuff, the next thing that was on my mind, was promotion. And i need not to tell you that "to be in the market, you need to be in the market". 
Woooh!! Well that was "mr. just in market cum philosopher."


So after some promotion on facebook , i moved to indiblogger.
Well its a site, that's all about this blogging thing. So i landed on this site and tried one of the most ancient techniques used by human civilization for promotion,"the favor bank".


So it is like, they have an updated list of  all the posts by different bloggers along with the content.
plus they have "share" buttons, "read more" buttons and so on. But the thing that is most appealing part of this site is "promote this post" button.  All you need to do is  just click on it and it opens a new tab on your browser window, and you can read the content written by so and so blogger and then you can promote it.


You might be thinking why should i be promoting someone else blog. So folks, here cometh the hero we were talking about earlier, "the favor bank". Now most of you must have got the idea  
what the hell is this favor bank is.
All you need to do is just promote someone blog, you will show up in his dashboard and if you're lucky enough, he turns on his face on your dashboard and there you have your customer. Well to be honest nobody reads your bull shit, just as same as the way you did it to him.. but yes the promotion thing does it all. It raises your popularity and there is more chances that someone really reads your content.    
And nothing to worry, the way works most of the time. hats off to  Mr. Newton for telling us that "what goes around comes around."  


i know!! i know!!
That was Jutsin Timberlake and not Newton. But it means the same thing in layman terms.
so here was "the favor bank", an integral part of our life.


So finally, all i want to say is, folks, can i have some of your favor? :-)
  


  










          




   


  



       



  
    

"some of you" and "the rests"

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Science Behind Shiting

so what do you think, which is the best place in the world???..... A home??... A temple???...

A restaurant?? A fairly land??.. or an etc?? or  etc...or etc??...so what is it??

Well it depends.... a baby or a priest or a man really in a bad hunger or a dreameror an etc or etc or etc.

so you have a place. Isn't  it??

But have you ever thought of a shitboard in your washroom to be one of them..

i mean it can be, like i said before, it depends. i get all the bloody good ideas sitting over there.

and i have termed this very place as "a thinker paradise."

so i was sitting on the shetboard watching the sunlight that  peeped in through a window and was drawing itself on the canvas called floor of the washroom. It reminded me of something,........ a childhood memory.

so i wont be boring you with memories, i mean all of us have that collection better than anyone.

Isn't it? 

So have you ever noticed that the most thought rush is at this very place, like a traffic jam caused by an accident...honk...honk...honk...

so there must be any reason. isn't it?? ....most obvious of them..."we are sitting ideal, so it is usual"..

well this may be the reason....and i believe it too.

but like i said a thought rush...so i discovered a scientific phenomenon behind it while i was at the same place. so here it goes.....

you must have heard that the things flow from high to low..or from an efficient place to deficient place..have you??  

ok then!! ...so what happens actually is......

initially the mind and body and surrondings are  at pressure zone set to

P(Mind)+ P(Body)+P(Surrounding)=constant(K)...(also known as law of conservation of shiting)

the process starts the moment we pull down the pants or whatever...

then P(Body)>P(mind) ....(because we emphasis more on physical than on mental activity)

but like i said before 

P(Mind)+ P(Body)+P(Surrounding)=constant(K)

so in order to hold this law true..there is a rush of energy also called the cosmic shit....

As it enters the mind the cosmic shet is transformed into what we call thoughts...  the rate of thought is directly proportional to the rate of shiting, as you must have noticed that with a bad stomach you have problems with imagining things.

However an exceptional case of loose motion is there which is synonymous with a free fall..

in this case (1=>P(Mind)>0)  which means the person achieves single thoughtness state

In extreme cases P(mind) drops to 0 and is known as no thought state 

and P(Body) is at its peak value . This state is also known as the 

"Save me my lord state"  

so when P(Body)>P(Mind) then P(Mind)>P(Surrounding)  and this increase is such that it is always a constant(k). 

however when P(Surrounding) becomes less , it is compensated by the physical shit that we dump back into surroundings. 

Hence it also proves that the "shit can neither be created, nor can be destroyed, but can be converted from cosmic shit to physical one and vice-versa."

so now you agree to my point that a shitboard can be the best place for someone...

see i derived a law out of it termed as "law of conservation of shit."

The Indian Picasso M F Hussain

so let me talk straightaway the business, because you guys understand business better. Isn't it??? And that too others business and never you dare to mind your own. Am i right???
ok now!!

so you guys must be knowing M F Hussain. Doyou?? Now you must be thinking that this all shet is about
M F Hussain, mourning on his death and bragging all his great works. Isn' it???

Well, folks let me tell you this is not a summary of a man's biography. It's just another work from an artist who is not in the ranks of great, but yes he feels great about himself and does not need parameters of greatness.

so one of the newspaper quoted the following..."The Indian Picasso dies in exile"..
So let me clear everything first. Picasso refers to M F Hussain who was a painter.
 And exile???
Well the genius created an artwork in 1973 portraying the nude sprays of some indian godesses, which caught attention of some so called messiahs of religion in 1996, causing some ethical values violation, as those SAINTS claimed. So this caused his exile to London as he was too old to defend himself.

ok now!! Will someone gonna tell me that how many times these messiahs preserved the thing called ethics, not only in the case of religion but in day to day life....... hmmm  
ok!! now leave it  as we all know the amount of  chastity they hold within..
but still let me answer them back. Men, if you call yourself messiahs then have you heard of  devi Anusuya who stopped the sun from rising to save her husband's life. Have you??/
well if  NO is your answer then go and fuck off. I dismantle you out of that god's throne.

and if yes then you must be knowing that the three gods Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva visited her as sadhus and asked her to serve them naked. and she did so not knowing that they were the one who drives this universe. Is it so??... yes it is..
well they did so to protect the universe , to make the sun rise. But why this way only???  i mean they are the gods , they have all powers. they can turn the universe topsy-turvy in no time. But why this way???

well, they are gods they can do anything, whatever they like, isn' it?? but again the same question arises. if they can do anything than why this thing??
ok ok!! don't  put stress on your neurons..let me tell you the reason.
Actually they were trying to test the purity of the lady.
And guess what?? she cleared the exam with a 10 on 10 GPA.  

now the question arises that the naked body of  the women did not provoke the sensuality of the trio. did it??
well, certainly a NO!! .. the most usual of answers.
i agree with you , but not totally.
Reason??

your NO has the following reasons....the most likely...."they are gods." Isn' it??
some of you may elaborate it saying that "they are gods, they are beyond senses, so no sensuality, and why they 'll play with their own creation."
Is that it?? ....hmmmm

ok now !! let me get you on the point that why they'll play with their own creation..
i totally agree on that point why they'll play with their own creation..
and that is what i want to make you learn from that.Why M F Hussain gonna play with his creation. i don't know if he had some kind of sexual appetite, and if so then he could have fed it in any brothel or like that thing...Then why he would fuck with his artwork.
hmmm

the answer is as simple as that in your own words..."he was a god, so he can play like whatever he wants to"
confused??
i mean he is a god of his painting , because he created it, he filled all that stuff in it. so why a differentiation for the same so called sin commited. i mean if its a sin still then stop idolising the gods also... i mean the rules are rules, nobody is above them. So break all the statues and all that thing.
but you wont do that...because you fear god  because he is powerful but Mr. Hussain was an old man, he was  harmless to you . so just piss on him..
isn' it??      

ok now fuck your bloody sentiments that was hurted when he created a painting....
now forget these gods and all that... do you remember Ajanta and Elloras, the famous wall sculptures, nude and full of sexual content..hmmmm
go break them buddy...
but again you wont do it because its a heritage.. a national and perhaps an international one.. and it is an artwork. Isn' it??
Damn it!!!! go men!! master your abidings about the artwork first!!

you must be thinking that why i am bragging such a crap after the Hussain's  death. isn't it??
well i don't have time to teach someone the right or wrong...as well as i don't have the right to do so. But yes it's my duty to broaden landscape of your mind. i have been reading comments on facebook calling  M F a fucker, and a national disgrace even after his death. so this is what prompted me to do so.

now if you got the point behind this crap, then let me clear concepts about 'obscenity' and 'artwork'.
in simple terms if your dick or pussy  feels the blood and your animal creeps out after watching a nude thing, it is 'obscenity'.... but but but....if you paint a Mona Lisa or sculpting an Adam's statue out of that.. men its an 'artwork'..

now its quite obvious to get aroused by such a sight so that is not 'obscenity' i believe ..but with your parameters its 'obscene' men....and it sounds quite paradoxial to term something as 'Obscene Artwork'.
i never heard of it. did you??? i mean except when i pronounced it.

as a musician i believe the nudity is a sign of freedom... to be nude is to be pure and transparent..its nothing obscene.

 but the obscenity is in mind.... is in how your perception is...a rush of blood in your genitals or a storm in your mind that destroys all boundaries to create a new world.....

well i think i have created my artwork out of this nudity thing. its upon you now that you term it 'obscene' or 'artwork'....i have preached my mind out...
and hats off to you Mr. Hussain for your greatworks. And forgive them because a storm of a real artwork is hard to stand by any animal..
  

     

thE DNA

This phase of my life is really very terrible. Its like the climax of a game going towards the death. Just one month left for exams and then the engineering is over. 

And then what?    

Man!!!!!!   My head is about to explode. I have so very myriad possibilities for my future and I have to stick to just one and move on. But I tell you what, man its so very hard altering your genetic code, the DNA.

I mean its so hard fighting your DNA, because it determines your behavior and all the crap you do. And most of the things are hereditary, so the problem lies there. Your innate thing pulls you down sometimes, even if you try hard. I mean my grandapa had a nomad sort of nature, not sticking on to something. So now you may be able to understand why I am blaming the DNA. I mean I cant choose or stick to something.  

Yaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!  Still I am trying so hard to alter and manipulate my DNA. And I can only try and try and try….   

JAVA

yesterday the day  was really really terrible. reason??
i was having a sudden energy rush, kind of adrenaline rush you say, and it flushed out my head. my right hemisphere was burning like the oven and the left was cold. i was feeling like to shout out loud to vacate the energy. Actually it was my chi flow that was imbalanced, i don't know the reason why. but it burnt all my organs on the right.
so today in the morning i meditated to balance it, and it feels better. i have read these kind of things on the internet, it says that it is a symptom of awakening of Kundalini energy or the chi energy lying dormant at the base of our spine.
wooooh!! now that's  interesting. but there are dangers too. for e.g the excessive rush in a wrong channel can make you go crazy.

i am safe-i said to myself.
Reason?? i am already mad ,and a thing happens once in our lifetime and never again. i mean like love. Similarly the madnesss.

ok now!! More you focus on things they inflate more. so i moved my attention from that energy rush and switched on my laptop. These days i am working on the advanced features of  JAVA and it is interesting.
but it is also like a cooked meal, i mean you just need to have the etiquettes to serve the meal and its all done.
It's not  a language if you really wanna become a programmer, a killer programmer. I prefer PYTHON or C then.

i have got an ultimatum of three months from my mother saying that get lost after three months for a job.
arghhhhhhhh!!!! when this ghost of job will gonna leave me.

so the thing is i am working on my technical skills. and i think i'll not do a job but work, may be as a freelancer. But who knows what happens next. Whatever  the things i need to carve something on the sands of time before i die and i am sure to do it..
  
      
    

the cYcLes

From past 2 days I am suffering from cold and fever. Seasonal shift is one of the reasons I think. 

And it's a long time, that ghost of writing a book is gone away.   I don’t know whether it’s good or bad that I don’t stick to things for very long.  And  sometimes I personally feel that its good. We people stick to something in our lives. Its good for a living, but remember the cycles have been the reason for all the laziness and boredom. You do a thing again and again and it becomes a habit. And then when it is obvious the life has nothing new. 

In my case it is different. I have derived this property of mine that I never stay somewhere for long from my grandpa. He cant stay somewhere for long. I have tried many times to cultivate that habit, but you know I am not so powerful to alter my DNA. So that plan of writing a book was gone.

You know what?

People don’t really trust me. Reason??

I don’t stick to something, I move on. And people won’t consider me in longer terms, even my parents don’t.

I hate this thing very much, but I can’t prevent it. Or what I realized today that it’s a gift that I flow tremendously and non stop.  Nobody understands that men I am trying my best to thwart this phenomenon going inside me, but my inner power appears to be stronger than me.

It propels me hard, and yes it teaches me a lot. Like the Matrushka thing that happened was a kind of a new experience.

It taught me about one thing called beauty.  It says “beauty is to admire and not to possess.” So I never again tried anything on Matrushka. She was finally back on my friends list.

Oh yes I did not tell you that she was back. And the reason is obvious. I don’t want to rake up another controversy, or make a hell of a girl’s life.  If you are an admirer of the beauty than you must respect that beauty also. Isn’t it??/

 So like I was telling you that we humans are more prone to cycles, and these cycles create boredom, and we must get out of it. People try hard for this and they think I am a gifted soul, as I have this inbuilt characteristic of breaking the cyclic codes.

Yeah I have it, and I accept it, and yes my life I think is one of the most interesting lives ever appeared on earth. But believe me it’s not that easy men. its like a volcano eruption. Its tremendous.  

These days I am watching people looking for jobs as if they need a breath, and me seeking the inner reality similarly. We guys on our own decide our priorities. Some need a job, some need settlements, some need a girlfriend, and some wants to be a topper, and some like me seek the perfection.  It never matters whether you are an amateur or a perfectionist. It’s all same in the end.

The only difference is a perfectionist die with a knowing of self.

This phase of my life has been very confusing. I mean I know better than before but still it seems a lot remains to be understood. Love, hatred, work, laziness, rich, poor, big, small, mean and great   these all are kind of I don’t know what. One is a sweet poison and other a bitter ambrosia.

Whatever the things, the real thing is beyond these extremes, and I am working to dig out the truth.

         

thE pOEt

//This is one of the artwork that I wrote in one of my sessional exams when I encountered a beautiful lady entering the class.

So here it goes.//

“I was struck by that brilliant light on her face,

My senses overflow, such deadly was her grace.

I lost sense of morality, I saw in her body “the immortality”,

I wished I would’ve been part of her, indivisible, filled with kind brutality.

Her eyes such kind, It seemed wherever her gaze fell, the earth smiled.

Oh god! When she had a look upon me,

I felt my heart pounding and soul about to break free.

No matter how much I tried to ignore her,

Her feminine brought in me an intense pleasure.

My hands became wild; they are spilling my soul,

I think I’ll dissolve, in an attempt to describe her whole.”

anD thE stoRy BegiNs

31 January 2011

Now I told you about the stupidity at the start of this blog in a post named as ‘Liberty’.

Do you remember??

Ok!!

But certain type of stupidity is in real, a stupidity. Nothing enlightening about it.

And here is an example.

My mother was returning from her school as I told you earlier that she is a teacher.

Now she gives me a call on the landline phone. Mark my words, the ‘Landline phone’.

And the moment I picked it up she asks me the unlikeliest of question.

Are you at home, and if yes then come to pick me up??-she said

Now what kind of question was that??

Men tell me, I am the one who picks up the so called landline phone and then am I not at home??

Tell me??  I mean if it would have been a WLL phone then the things would have been different.

But she knows it that it’s not a WLL.

All I want to say is this is simply stupid and like I said nothing enlightening about it.

So that was one thing. Now yesterday one of my cousins left for Delhi. He had a job joining tomorrow that is 1 Feb 2011. He came to say a goodbye to all of us.

He has been placed in a multinational company recently just before he has one semester left for his MBA to complete. He is pursuing the same from UPES located in Bidholi, Dehradun.

He is being offered a handsome salary. And he needs to be 10 days in Delhi and 20 days in Bihar as what the job demands.

I think his job is quite adventure sort of, I mean the travelling part.

So he said a goodbye and left. After he left, my mother was telling me that you also should look for a job because it is your final semester.

Everyone in our relationship is very excited about my job.

 I mean all of my brothers and sisters are placed in well reputed companies. Recently one of my cousins left for New Zealand due to company work.

So as all elders of mine are well settled, so the next man in the queue is Mr. Vivek Badoni.

Arghhhhh!!!

I hate that, in fact I fear it the most.

A  job??

Who the hell will go to recruit such a lazy fellow??

 I mean nobody wants his company graph to face zigzag lines just because of an idiot like me.

I am really worried about it. Even many of my colleagues got placed recently in various reputed companies so you can imagine the state of mind I am in.

Well, still I have my own prophecy.

It’s not that I really fear to work in a company or at least even go for an interview.

But the thing is you worked so hard throughout your life just to get a job in the company?

I mean that’s ok! Some people have family responsibilities, I am not questioning them.

But what about others, why you are doing it??

Ok!  Now again that’s none of my business. Your own prophecy like I have my own.

Now getting back to present, it was a great day again but a bit unlikeliest of all the other great days I have mentioned so far.

Reason??

Reason is again the unlikeliest, the ‘SEX’.

Now don’t get stunned. Yes, I am speaking of ‘SEX’.

Now this has been one of my favorite topics of research and discussion. I am really interested in it, not because the reason same as you are interested in it, but a bit different than that.

Of course the cultivation of interest in the sex has undergone the same process as you feel about it.

 I am not an angel or devil or saint or some kind of mystic, I am a human as much as you are.

So you must be thinking why sex was on my mind. And I was thinking while writing the previous statement that what would have been my status today on FaceBook . I mean there is text box labeled as ‘what’s on your mind’.

So what would I say ’The SEX’, the most probable thing on my mind. Now that’s quite a humor.

Don’t you think so??

Well leave this crap aside. And come back on our topic.

I was having it on my mind just like that. I mean there are so many thoughts coming and going and coming and so on.

May be I saw some sexy girl on the road, or on television, I mean there are so many things. Reason can be anything. I don’t remember it.

So I had my acquaintance with this thing called sex when I was in eight standard. I mean that age is when all of us are undergoing hormonal changes so it’s obvious to get an exposure to such things.

But my first experience was rather unusual.  I mean the masturbation thing is very general.

It is the easiest naturally artificial source of experiencing the transient nirvana.

But the thing that makes it unusual is to do such a thing when a teacher is taking a class.

Stunned?? 

But it is so, and now I also think that how I did such a hell inside a classroom of around 50 students and a teacher.

Now I’ll not tell you the thing why I did it, how I did it, or something like that.

I think that’ll make things a bit awkward for you as well as for me. And most important of all, I don’t want to rake up a controversy about discussing a taboo in public. I mean some narrow minded creatures still consider it as a taboo.  But certainly I’ll share my opinion and experiences on the same.

So before I tell you something about it I’ll quote for you a few lines said by Swami Vedant in a conference.

He says that “Next to god, Sex is the most misunderstood thing.”

And I totally agree with it. I mean such a wonderful thing.

Now some of you might be wondering that what is so wonderful about it. So I need not to tell what is wonderful about it. You know it already if you’ve ever experienced it. And to rest I can only say, keep your bloody mouth shut and let me speak.

So what I think is it’s more than just a physical or chemical process. I mean the attraction, the intensity, the climax, etc. etc.

It‘s the first step to spirituality and the first door to nirvana.

Now that confuses you.

 Isn’t it??

But first let me give you an idea of our ethereal body I mean to make it more intelligible, your soul.

So our soul consists of seven layers of consciousness which in our holy books are termed as the ’chakras’.

Now these chakras have various aspects of human nature associated with them. Like the anger, the jealousy, the hatred, the love, compassion, knowledge, creativity etc. etc.

So the very first center of our consciousness is called as ‘mooladhara chakra’

It governs our excretory organs as well as the animal instincts like hunger, greed, lust and yes of course the thing called sex. Actually it is not only governed by first center but more by second center. But yes some part of it is governed by the first center.

You can check out for more details from the internet.

So that is the reason why I was saying that it is the first door to nirvana.

Now you got it??

See, every one of us has experienced it at a sooner or later stage of our life. But we never go out in much detail. And that’s a good thing as I told you yesterday that “devil is in the detail”

Second most reason is our society. I mean we can’t talk like that about it in open.

This rule is good many times because if there is no restriction on it than the difference between man and animal will disappear.

But as I quoted earlier Swami Vedant that it is a misunderstood thing, so that is where this restriction makes it worse.

Imagine that if there would have been no such thing called sex then I think the world can never think of its existence. Can you??

It is a creative form of energy. It reproduces something new out of the original. Now mark my last statement and then think about it.

I mean reproduction is not limited to the injection of semen inside a woman’s vagina and then a baby forming up. It’s more than that.

The reproduction refers to many more things like a new innovative idea, a new music composition, a new invention, discovery; I mean to say alignment or forming up of things in a way that it was never before. Is not it??

I mean you must be thinking that what sex has to do with a music composition, or an invention??

See, sex in its most basic application is the lowest degree of creation. It is an expression of Love to make feel someone that how much you love him/her. Isn’t it??

But it is not the real and ultimate thing. Actually it is much more than just a fluid exchange.

   

A musician when composes something, he is actually making copulate the various musical notes together to reproduce or to create what we call music.

And as I am a bit of musician and a human too so I can tell you the difference in degree of enjoyment in the fluid exchange and in the copulation of the musical notes.

I mean you must have felt that the physical exercise makes you dull in the end though it is very blissful for a certain time period.

But if any one of you is a musician or even have super likes for music then you must have felt that music  takes you beyond your senses and even when you descend down to earth you don’t feel dull rather you feel elevated .Don’t you??

So the difference is in preservance. Music has the preservance and the other doesn’t have it.

Similarly for all other creative tasks. But it doesn’t mean that the union of man and woman doesn’t hold importance. It is important, as I said before it is also a level of creation though the lowest but still it is important.

Now as I am no great saint or self actualized being, or a well known personality, so my words do not hold that much importance to you. Isn’t it??

So let me quote some of the words of a world famous personality, ‘Osho’

I am sure you must have heard of him. If not then I’ll give you his introduction in brief.

Osho was one of the self actualized beings of the modern world. And it is said that he attained enlightenment at an age of 21 years.

So I think that’s quite an impressive introduction of him. Is it??

So Osho is one of my favorites on this very topic called sex.

He says about it the following.

“And while you are meditating, your maturity comes sooner, your centering comes sooner, your awareness about things becomes clearer everyday and sex is going to be the first victim of your awareness. The other things will follow because sex is the very root of your animality.

And once it drops off, as if tree lost its roots then branches can’t remain green any longer.

Anger, your jealousy, your violence, your superiority and inferiority complex, all kind of neurosis and psychosis are just branches.”

So that’s quite enlightening. Isn’t it??

But most of you may be thinking that who the bloody hell going to sit and meditate and all that.

But men if you really want to know the higher truths, your real existence then you must know what is this sex really is and for that you need to meditate, no other option.

Or do we have it??

I mean we have alternates. So can we make it the other way??

See though I was interested very much in meditation but I really hated sitting for hours without moving. I mean it makes you go insane and crazy. Only some dead stubborn can do that.

I can’t do that like him/her.

See this is the problem. We think a lot, as I said earlier and also misunderstand a lot.

Meditation is not about sitting at one place without moving, holding your breath and having no thought in your mind.

Actually it is about, like I said before the degree of absorption into work that you are performing at the very moment.

That is the true meditation.

Oh my god!! Did I explain it to you what true meditation is?? Did I??

Foooooh!!!  Have I attained enlightenment or something like that??

Tell me if some kind of light you can see behind my head.

Is it there??

Ok!! Enough of those foolish queries.

So like I said before, the sex and the spirituality have a link in between them, a very profound one.

Sex meant to me as same as it meant to anyone else in the world before I met a teacher of physics in one of the crash course classes for engineering.

 I don’t remember his name but he had his roots from Punjab. He was a different man as a teacher.

He explained to us the physical and metaphysical aspects of almost everything he knew.

Like one of the interesting thing he explained to us is about a lightening conductor.

You must have seen a lightening conductor, a rod with three arrows like projections in different directions. And you must have also seen a trident in hands of Lord Shiva.

So the thing is both of them are lightening conductors.

And that is the reason that lord Shiva sits at the top of mountain to protect the earth by holding trident cum lightening conductor in his hands.

Now that’s funny. Isn’t it??

But at least those who are hard core fans of lord Shiva, I think they are very much impressed and the image of Mr. Shiva must have gained an inch or two in their eye.

Ok! So like I was telling you that he used to tell every aspect of science, so because of this my interest grew in the intangible world around us.

Then the internet, the television, it all became the source of satisfaction to my curiosity. Until one day I encountered this thing called meditation.

And you know it where I stand today, preaching to you guys. Ha ha ha.

But actually all that knowledge does not help at all. I mean I tried all the practices described on the internet, and even 4 or 5 times I went for classes also but it never helped.

May be I never had that enough will power to do so.

 But then same things work differently for different men is what I believe.

Because everybody has different level of understanding, different level of potential.

Like you can’t make hold a kid, a sword, and tell him to go and fight in the battle, but certainly a man who has been trained well can be a more reliable option. Is not it?? 

So as I was telling you earlier about sex that how the meaning of it transformed from physical to metaphysical within me.

So I tried different things with it. I mean I can’t explain whole of it here. I mean some of the things are well understood when you actually do them in practical.

Now some of you may be thinking the other way about the practical application of sex that I’ll explain. Then my appreciation to your thinking. Men it’s not always like that.

 Ok! Do you understand that??

   

So I think I have shared much of my opinions and experiences on this thing called sex, with you guys. But to conclude it I want to say that you are like a tumbler (glass). And your reproductive organs are like a hole in a tumbler and sex in its lowest form of creation opens up that hole temporarily and let all the water (Knowledge) drain out.  So do not let the knowledge go away like that because it is through the knowledge we can understand the higher truths and learn to hold the sword and fight in battle for nirvana.

However it is sometimes necessary to drain out water because the glass needs to be cleaned up.

But remember only sometimes. And how do we know that when it is the right time. So the answer is the knowledge again.

So my advice to you, “keep your tumbler full up to brim”. Because only a glass full of water can quench someone’s thirst and not the empty one.

It was like I said a great day; we discovered one of the most important of things called sex and

I experienced the ‘language of the soul’ later in the day. But we’ll talk on that some other day.

1 February 2011

Today I think will be one of the most important days in my life. Because I have finally decided that I’ll go for writing a book.  Yes I was having this in mind previously but I was not sure.

Yesterday I was conversing with one of my friend on face book and he said that he liked my blog and I should write a book. Actually it was not that he said it, so I planned to write a book. But reason was a bit different.

I want to write a book because I want to write it. I never had this kind of thing in my mind that I’ll write a book some day. My passion was music and I was crazy about it.

But then I met Matrushka, and I was transformed.

And I think this is one of the reasons, in fact the only reason I am writing a book. And yes of course, who the hell don’t want to get famous, I mean all of us want that.

So I am no saint devoid of desires and dreams, I am just like the other men, having dreams.

 

This book really became like air for me. It is like a respiratory process; breathe in and out every emotion of mine. I fell in love with a girl of whom I knew only the name and the face and the smile, and nothing more than that.

She did not acknowledge however, my love. Because she knew nothing of me, just a name, a face like any other guy, then why she should fall in love with me. And to make it worse, I declared my love publicly on the internet. And when she read it, it’s obvious to get scared, so she was.

But I have been always like this, I express of my emotions freely, because it keeps my soul fit and fine. But I think I need to change a bit, because sometimes holding on your emotion do good to you.

But there is a question that stirs my mind, that why we people are like this.

I mean you must have seen the things on the valentine day or any other day.

You have bondage to express your love and you are free to express your anger, your violence, and hatred.            

It seems very weird. Many times I have noticed the Archie’s gallery on Rajpur Road being spoiled on the Valentine’s Day. Those mentally sick people thinking of themselves as demi gods and savior to the world. I mean it’s ridiculous.

So as she was now not talking to me, so I had no means to contact her as I told you before that I do not have her number. So for a few days I was writing my emotions and feelings on the blog having in mind that she reads it and may be who knows she call me back.

But girls are girls you know. If they don’t want to do something then they inflate their ego to limits.

So there is no response so far.

But I was thinking this morning that I love her. And this thing only I know in my heart or god knows.

Nobody else not even her. She only thinks that I was just making it a joke in public. And her assumptions are acceptable. I mean if I would have been at her place then I would have had the same thing in my mind. So I have no problem with that.

So I came up with this idea called the book. 

If some day my book get published and wins a certain amount of appreciation, then she might feel that yes I loved her really and what I did on internet was not a joke.

I mean I wanted to make her really special, because every person in my life is special, my friends, family, and yes she is certainly very special.

I don’t remember that how I started writing. How it happened is just like a dream I was in.

I saw her and for the first time in my life I have started expressing so very well and it felt great.

A few months ago I was very worried about that what the purpose of my life is, and I felt abandoned.

But when I met her, all questions and worries were dissolved I don’t know where.

I found a purpose to my life.

Love, yes love is the purpose of my life. Because of the absence of love all the world is tending to destruction. And I can’t let that happen as I have perceived the beauty of it within me.

It tests you sometimes because it is cleansing your soul to make a place for him. Sometimes the pain seems to be unbearable and people give it up at the last moment, but I won’t do the same because not only I have felt love, but the ‘unconditional love ‘that I explained you previously.

And I think I’ll be able to accomplish my mission.

So as I finally decided to write a book, so I was struck by insecurity. This is the problem with us.

 We think firstly of all the bad things that can happen while going for some task. It is however, good sometimes as you are ready to face the worst, so you move on with a back up plan.

Same thing I did. The first thing that hit me was, if somebody copies my content from the internet and use as his own idea.  So I think this is the most common fear and it is acceptable as in today’s world these things are very common. Isn’t it??

So firstly I paused all my active routes consisting of Linkdin, face book, and twitter. But still you know how we humans are. So finally I removed all the content from my blog and published a new post named as ‘notice’.

It said that:

“Hey guys I have finally decided to write a book, perhaps dedicated to a girl called Matrushka so I have removed the previous posts so that no one makes the unauthorized use of my content.

However, you can contact me if you have any queries.

Here is my email id and contact no.:

Vivekbadoni737@gmail.com

Contact: 09634606784

And thanks for all your support so far.

Vivek Badoni”

So now my fear vanished and I was breathing freely.

Now after the cons vanish the next thing you think of only pros. Don’t you?

 After reading this book so far you must have got an idea of how much likes I have for fantasy.

Have you??

So as the idea of book was inside, the airy castles started to build. The first thing that comes to my mind was the cover of the book, titled as “Matrushka…..a quest for love”.

Then I said to myself again, no!! It will be “Matrushka….a bloggers diary”.

Yeah that’s fantastic. - I said to myself.

But then again Mr. Businessman inside my mind yelled.

No!!!!!!!!!!-the Businessman said

I asked the reason, so he says people are more interested in love stories and not diaries, so the first one have more weight in it.

Ok! Woo!!!

That’s sounds pretty logical. –I said to myself.

So first one will be the title of my book.

Now as the title is decided, so the next thing that creeps in is the scene after my book was published.

It goes like this.

A newspaper review:

“He is too young to be such a perfectionist.” – Famous author xyz

“He has expressed his love in the most rare and beautiful way.” – The TOI

“He has breached the walls of the secrets of life”- a ABC critique

“He makes him stand among the elites like Shakespeare”- the xyz prize winner

After this fantasy was over in my mind, a brisk smile appeared on my face. And you know the reason why I was smiling.

I was smiling at my foolishness.

But I think it is not foolishness.  All of us make those castles in mind, and I think that’s good.

It is necessary for us to feel alive. The dreams and imaginations act as a food for soul. Our soul needs constant feeding of beautiful things, so dreams and imagination provide the same.

When I was a kid, the most favorite thing when I go for a sleep was this dreaming. Imagining things that are not actually, but certainly one day they’ll have an existence.

I have an interesting story to tell about imagination.

When I was in 5 standards, I had a crush on girl. Both of us joined the school that very same year. So I had this funny feeling that both of us appear at same place in same class because we are destined to become one.

And as I told you earlier that how much I get impressed by the act of bravery and heroism.  So when I used to go to sleep at night, I used to start imagining that the same girl is surrounded by bullies. You know, there are always some villains in the story.

 So I had my own villains recruited by me in my imagination to tease the girl. And then when they started teasing the girl, the hero enters. 

 And I think I need not to tell who the hero was.

Yeah you guessed it right. The one and only, Mr. Vivek Badoni .

And I swear I never lost a fight ever in my imagination. And of course, there were some heart touching moments in the story. Like the cuts on my head and hands. And then the girl comes and showers all her heart over me, and then when it’s over, I put off the television in my mind and delve deep into sleep.

I don’t know if anyone of you has done that. I mean I never spoke to anyone on this matter, because you know how the world is. When they do the same thing it’s a masterpiece and if anyone else does that, it’s a mere crap.

So this was one of my daily routines at night before going to sleep. Then she changed her school and I was like, you know what I mean.

Actually my relationship with the girls has been really terrible.

Like when we are kids then most of us have some crush over a teacher. Didn’t we??

So I was having a crush on my English teacher. But one day I heard of her that she ran away with her boyfriend.

What?? -I said in a shocking amazement to one of my friends who told me about her.

I was struck as if some lightening fell over me.

And that was the start of my terrible journey with the girls.

Then you know the second one left the school.

Third girl, I met in a college but she had some problems. I don’t know what problem she had. She had likings for me but she never showed up.

And one day what I heard from one of my close friend that she was telling to same that “I am a bastard, and I attempted a suicide 3 times just because of her”

Oh my god!! That was really very terrible.

And what was most interesting of things that she never knew that we both are friends. And she scripted the story in front of him.

And then when the guy told her that he knows me. She messages me saying that “hi Vivek, let’s forget everything and can we be normal friends as it is our final year. So what do you say??”

I was drunk that night so I didn’t read her message.

But then I woke up around 12:00 at night and had a look at my cell phone. It was an unknown number. It was unknown as because I deleted her number the day I heard that crap of hers through my friend.

I opened the message and I found it was her, I didn’t reply to her that night.

 But then again next day in the college she messages me and asks me.

“You didn’t reply last night, do you agree or not, tell me fast.”

Believe me, I felt such terrible that very moment and I felt like slapping her hard on her face.

And she was no far from me. She was on the next bench in front of me. But I simply messaged her saying that, ok, we are friends.

And to add more to it, after that agreement she never messaged me on her own.

Ok! Let’s forget it!!

 But what I believe is,” whatever happens, happens for good.” And I think most of you agree with me.

So this was my terrible journey with girls. And the last one, you know it, I need not to tell.

But last one was actually not terrible; it was different than others, because I never had that love or something else on my mind.

It was like when we went for java classes, three of us, Vartul , me and one more friend discussed about the girls in the class at the end of every class, an obvious thing among boys to discuss.

So both of them used to say, ”Yaar bada ghurti hai, isse baat krni pdegi”

So that was quite a motivation for me so I planned the thing and you know it what happened after that.

This is a thing I appreciate of me, the’ motivation.’

I have this quality I should say, that I need just a drop of this thing called motivation, just a drop of it.

And it is like pulse –polio campaign to me.

“Do boond zindagi ki”. As Mr. Amitabh bacchan says in a TV ad

Now that‘s quite a humor.

So like I was telling you that the encounter with her was different than other girls I met so far.

But then we guys have this great thing called our own philosophy that a girl and a boy can never be good friends. One day they are sure to fall for each other, or in my case falling from one side.

So that turned out to be true. But it is where the problem lays, the heart, the pen drive, the virus, and finally all crash, crash, crash.

   

But still I have one more good quality, the optimism.

Actually it’s not optimism, because optimism has limits, so it can’t be optimism, it is something else and I don’t know what, so I devised a new name to it, “the X factor”

Now X refers to unknown, as we assume all the unknown things as X in mathematical equations.

So in the unknown equations of love we use this X again.

And may be who knows someday I am able to evaluate the value of X.

Now this is why I was telling you before that dreams and imaginations are necessary.

Because dreams are like wings to your soul. Dreams can make you feel the heights of sky even in adverse circumstances.

So never stop dreaming, imagining, as two famous personalities said about the thoughts.

One of him I quoted earlier.

“What you think, you become”- Gautama Buddha

And

“You are a product of your thoughts”- Mahatma Gandhi

And I think dream and imagination are kind of beautiful thoughts, so who knows, someday this dream comes true.

But yes one more personality says the following, but you haven’t heard of him much.

“Dreams are wonderful in mind, but coupled with actions in world, they turn into a miracle”

And it is said by none other than his highness Mr. Vivek Badoni.

So action is also necessary to help your dream come true. I dreamt all my life but never took an action but here a force Matrushka puts me in action, and see the miracle that creates around me.

I feel blessed.

So action is a very important thing that I discovered today.

 Now as I was telling you of my fantasy after my book was published. So there is one more thing left to fantasize. This is last one. Don’t get bored; seriously, this is last one for the day.

 So after I was appreciated by so many famous celebrities and personalities, I was in seventh heaven.

But it never ended here. After that, the next thing that strikes my beautiful mind was the money.

Oops!!  how can I forget such an important thing called ‘Money’

Now as I’ve become very rich, so I have to settle the monetary benefits with my publisher and all other people who helped me in promoting my book.

Ok! I’ll keep 20% of all the collections. - I said to my publisher.

20 percent??- said the publisher in amazement.

Is it not very low on your part- he says again.

No!!- I replied pretending as if money never mattered to me.

 But deep in my heart I knew that money is really what we all need to marry a honey.

And then publisher praises me again for my greatness.

While writing the previous statement I burst into a big laugh as I thought how stupid I am and how good I am at making the airy castles. I was also thinking that if I would have chosen the civil as my engineering trade rather than going for computer science, then I would have built the most wonderful structures on earth as I am good at making castles, even if they are airy but still they are castles.

But you never know what life has arranged for you, and you can see that a person like me has some amount of abilities to become a writer.

So as I am now one of the famous writers, then now every word I spell counts in literatures.

Isn’t it?

 //continued……….fantasy

  

I took a break, and left for my dinner. After doing so much brainy task, I mean writing is not a brainy thing in fact it is effortless like every other art. But I told you about the airy castles, now that really deserves some application of brain cells. So that is what I mean by brainy task.

I switched on television.  Scrolled down the menu on the screen and selected the movies block.

Ok!

‘Wake up Sid’.

Have you seen it??

 No!! Then you must watch it. It’s worth wasting your 3 hours. Really believe me.

Sometimes I am amazed by these actors, directors, and all those crew members.

They portray such cleanly everything, I mean the colors of life, emotions, and characters.

 It’s all perfect.

I watched the movie till 11’O clock in night and then I am back on my laptop typing all this crap.

While I was watching the movie, this man Ranbir Kapoor was like a guy like me having no mission

( I have it now) in life, and when she asks one of her friend that does she have likes for him. Then she replies-

“Sid (Ranbir kapoor) you are a still a kid, having no career and goal in life. And I have likes for some serious goal oriented man, who is much matured.”

Now I was wondering about that what a man is, and what is a woman. I mean I feel very excited about a man and women that how they mingle with each other.

Man is like what, a free and easy going creature. Whatever things he gets he is satisfied. He just moves on. And then there is a thing called women who enters in his life and plunders everything.  

Now don’t take me wrong on the word ‘plunders’, ladies. I respect you all.

I do not mean that you are like a pirate of the Caribbean’s. But I mean a woman teaches a man how to become civilized, to fall in love. It’s all beautiful. And I respect god for that and I am amazed at his creativity.

How god has created such variance of colors in life. I mean he is an artist without equal.

This ghost called ‘writing a book’ has really made me a bit insane. I mean all my habits have suffered a blow. Many times I have skipped breakfast, or lunch. Even when I wake up in the morning, I sometimes even don’t wash my face properly. Due to bad eating habits my health has suffered.

Today in the afternoon I was having a look at my supermodel body (now that’s funny), and I noticed my eyes sinking inside my skull.

But it never discourages me since my eyes never popped out of my skull, they were always like that, may be a bit better but not very much. But the worst thing about my body is the body odors.

Now that’s something that discourages a lot, not me, but the man who is in front of me.

 I mean you are used to your odor, but not the other person.

Yuk!!

So I haven’t taken a bath from past 5 days. Now I am sure you must be feeling some of my odors. Don’t you??

I was also thinking today that I should go for a bath tomorrow. And I wonder when that tomorrow arrives. This tomorrow has played very significant role in all of us lives. Isn’t it??

I mean a teacher asked you in your school time that when you’ll show me your homework.

Then our reply was most obvious, ‘tomorrow ‘.

I don’t know about the bookworms, I hated them a lot. I had many of them in my class.

Similarly in college the deadline for assignments was, ’tomorrow’.

One of again most interesting cases was begging for money from friends. And when he asks that when you’ll going to return it, then again the most obvious of all answers, ‘tomorrow’

Some of my friends who took the cash from me are still waiting for that tomorrow to arrive. And I think there quest for tomorrow may not end at least in this life or even the next.

So this tomorrow has certainly played a very significant role in our lives like I said before.

//2 February 2011

 

So today was again one of the interesting days. When I woke up in the morning, I firstly thought of the thing that I should turn on my hp 530 electronic notebook. But then I said to myself that I need to get some fresh air and need to reset my biological system.

So I poured some tea into mug, and I went upstairs on roof top.

The place where I live is really a place where every man loves to dwell in.  I mean it’s like any other place; in fact it is not having all those market facilities, just one big shop up the road some 250 meters away, and another semi sized general store down the road, at around same distance.

But the thing that distinguishes the place from all others is quietness of the region and of course the natural beauty.

When you look around from the roof top, it appears a valley surrounded by Shivalik ranges, a view of famous tourist spot, Mussoorie in the north east. Exactly opposite to it in south east is, the dense forest locally known as ‘Laad jungle’ which comes under the Asahrodi range, Dehradun. It consists of various flora and fauna. Animals like leopard, hare, elephants, deer’s; wild fowl, wild boar etc. brings aliveness in the jungle. The jungle also provides feeding for the locals, as still the people depend on natural fuel like wood. The forest chiefly consists of Sal trees scientifically known as Shorea Robusta.

The region is semi densely populated, with people mostly self employed. By self employed I mean the farmers, the iron menders etc.

The place where I live in is an area where families consisting mostly of retired army persons, govt. employees. My father is himself in forest department, so now you must have learnt that how come I am so good at describing the geographical details of the region. And like I told you before that my mother is a teacher in a government school.

So like I was telling you that the place where I live is like next to paradise. The backyard of my house gives you a view of green fields and it is then joined by another small jungle with green bamboos planted as boundaries by the forest department. It like the other jungle provides shelter to animals like wild fowl whose voice I almost hear every day mainly during the summers, then the boars, hares and in rainy season sometimes the tortoises. So you can imagine why I was calling it a paradise.

I mean everybody wants to dwell in a place similar to the one I described just before.

No matter how much you earn, how much you rise to fame, to material, your soul is untouched by these things. It seeks naturalness, simplicity, peace and contentment. And that’s why most of the people are running towards the less inhabitated and the naturally beautiful places.

I have been here from past 16 years. And till this date the smell of the soil is carved so perfectly in my lungs, in my blood, in my soul. I mean I fear losing this place, and recent developments in the region have added to my worries. The region is getting populated; the road construction has led to the cutting of trees, people selling their lands to outsiders who are using it for their commercial purposes. But still it is still a paradise for me even if the skyscrapers grow in here. My music compositions, my sense of describing the nature, the art, and the people, all are a result of rigorous and constant observation of the valley in the past years.

Sometimes I feel very blessed, I mean I once watched a movie called Blood Diamond.  The movie I think won the Oscars in some category, I don’t know what but it certainly did.

So the picture portrays a real story of a valley in South Africa where the smuggling of diamond was the problem that is being focused on, and for that so many killings of locals by their own people. That place was very beautiful but the people plundered it for their selfish motives.

I remember one of the actors delivering a dialogue in the movie. He says that “god has abandoned this place, very before “ 

That statement really set me in a feeling of I don’t know what. I felt as if to cry on the pathetic condition of mind we humans are in or to feel so happy about the thing that I am here in a paradise.

Sometimes I felt a guilt inside me at night, that I am sleeping here in peace and harmony on sleep well’s and some people are there in the world who are not sure of the thing that whether they’ll be able to watch the sun rise the next morning or not. I felt such helpless about the thing that I can’t help them.

I remember of an incident 4 or 5 years back when I used to go for my coaching classes for the engineering.

A place near Niranjanpur Mandi, where some nomad’s sort of people use to live on the footpaths under the tents. One day when I was returning from class I noticed those dwellings being demolished by municipal department, and those people helpless out in the open in winters.

I felt very bad about it, and even I abused the municipal department in my mind, I mean I can’t do anything much more than that.

After that I forgot the incident, you know how the human mind is, ever changing.

But at evening when I woke up after a short sleep, I felt the tears in my eyes, and me in a crying state of mind. I was taken aback by the thing that why I was crying for no reason. Then suddenly the afternoon scene of the people out in the open appeared in front of my eyes, I was first time shot into a state of divine trance( a trance is a semi -meditative state, in which a person is able to feel the inner reality and simultaneously able to think). I felt all my seven centers of consciousness I told you about before, moving, and I was not able to stop myself from crying and being in state of so called the universal love. That was my first spiritual experience ever. It opened me to a realm of unknown.

However the state lasted no longer. But from then I have been experiencing different states of mind and slowly and gradually the Buddha inside me is starting to speak.

One of the other experiences I had once was when I was giving exams for my 6 semester.

You know, I hate studies like any other sane headed being on this earth. But you know you need to clear the exams because it is only the degree that is a mark of your knowledge you have raked up so far. Isn’t it??

I mean everybody say that, although I have a different prophecy like I said before. I think most of us are already published minds.

Published minds you understand??

I mean we start from alphabets and till the time we are graduates we are speaking of various architectures, time machine concepts. So that is what I mean by published minds, we are like a Google search engine, somebody types some text (I mean ask something) and then we vomit out everything that has been fed to our databases. Isn’t it??

Imagine if Galileo, Archimedes, Leonardo da Vinci, Newton, Einstein were already published minds, then you can imagine if we really had, ships, helicopters, relativity, the gravity, the bulb. Did we??

But that’s again none of my business like I said earlier, everyone has their own prophecies.

But I hate studies for that reason because it fills up all the space for the new and fresh knowledge that is falling from heavens.

There is a Zen saying, “empty the cup”.

It is said by one of the Zen masters teaching his student about learning and meditation. He elaborates saying that until and unless you (student) do not drain out your past knowledge or right to say the foolish beliefs and learning’s, you can’t meditate or receive the true knowledge of the reality. So the saying, “empty the cup”

All things we study are necessary but just to feed our stomach, but the soul and the cosmos demands much more than that. It demands of new ideas, innovations, and inventions and for that our cup needs to be empty.

And I think this prophecy  of mine has really kicked my stomach, I mean I have managed to score a 63% with 3 backlogs to my cap.

So you don’t need to have such kind of prophecies, because again prophecies fill your cup and keep you deprived of real knowledge.

So stay just nothing, flow on with the time and take on what life teaches you.

Foooh!! Now I really think that I can also become a philosopher. Isn’t it??

 I mean See!! What an impressive speech, and you seem to be impressed. Aren’t you??

Well this word philosopher reminds me of one day, when I was sitting in class and looking at one of my syllabus books. It was an operating systems book and it spoke of a problem called ‘dining philosopher problem’

Well you have nothing to do with the problem nor will I explain because not even I am interested in the problems. But the thing that caught my eye was the definition of ‘philosopher’.

It says that a philosopher is a person who thinks and eats, and nothing else.

Well that’s quite interesting as a definition. And then you know, I was back into that fantasy world I told you about earlier, thinking that if ever I could become a philosopher, then the only thing I need to do is think and eat and nothing else.

And here I am preaching the knowledge to the world through my book. And only task I have is, think and eat, and write, certainly. Writing is quite an effort because you need to shuffle your fingers on that QWERTY keypad.  I don’t understand that gone head case fellow who designed a keypad in jumbled form. Was he nuts??

Well he was not nuts; it is because of some machine design features. You can check out for more details on the internet if you are really interested to know about it. I mean I am writing my own story and not a syllabus book of case studies.

So I was telling you that writing is quite an effort, but I love this. I mean when something becomes a medium to your expressions, you love to do it. Is not it??

Of so far what I have concluded of all the world miseries is this very thing called ‘expression’.

By expression I do not mean only the facial muscle movements, like smile, frown, anger etc.

An expression has more scope to it. The arts, the work, the flow of emotions within a being.

These are more profound details of an expression.

For a painter his painting is an expression, for a musician, his compositions are an expression, for an athlete his endurance while a game is an expression, for a heart, love is an expression.

And the problem lies here. When an expression is expressed freely, sanity, serenity prevails. But when the same expression is thwarted by something it bursts like a volcano, which sleeps for years

And then suddenly one day, it plunders everything, the beauty, the charm, everything ceases to exist.

Our society is really very harsh on an individual sometimes. People who call them the messengers of god have created some really illogical rules. I mean there are so many of them, saying that god says this and that.

What I want to say to all of them is, you fools don’t you have brain that if god is there, he can speak on himself, he is so very powerful , so he must be of sure having a mouth to speak. So who the bloody hell you are to speak on behalf of god. And by the way, god is speaking already on its own through this very thing called expression in every being of this world, then why do you preach such nonsense. It’s you in facts that who is not letting the god speak, by imposing your own nonsense prophecies.

So folks, this is what I want you to understand of expression is, that it puts an end to your miseries, inner or outer. And never you lend an ear to those enlightened fools. Because god speaks on its own to every one of us.

Fooh!! I am really impressed by my own speaking skills. I don’t know is it me or someone else speaking. Perhaps god, as I told you just now. Because writing is my expression and god speaks in expressions.

So as I was earlier talking about the thing called philosopher, so I think I’ve become a bit of it. Isn’t it??

So Gautama Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi was right, we are the result of our thoughts.  I mean I only thought of it once and see the effect, it’s huge. Isn’t it??

So my advice to all of you, just think. And yes the action, I talked yesterday is also very necessary.  

//3 February 2011

These days my life has turned into a cocoon. A room, a bed, a mobile phone with internet connectivity, and my hp 530 notebook with Microsoft word running as the only application, on the device.

Except this life means no more to me these days. I go out in the open when the sun rise, meet the people, understand how they live their life, what problems are they facing, what solutions and what plans they have for future etc .etc.

When I need to refresh myself I admire the beauty of nature around me and feel giant within.

I know a guy in my neighborhood. He runs a cyber café owned by his uncle. He is a nice guy unlike many others. He is very gentle and friendly. Today I was getting bored, so I gave him a call on his cell phone asking whether I can bring my guitar and play some music. He said yes in a pleasing way, and then I took the guitar and left locking my house.

When I got there, he was sitting with his aunt. He gave me a chair and took a stool for himself.

I told him that I have composed a new song so I’ll play that song and then he’ll tell me whether he likes it or not and same goes for aunt.

I started playing the song, and then when it ended, he seemed to be pleased and again same goes for aunt.

He said to me that I should upload a video on you tube on the internet.

I said no. somebody might copycat it.

Yeah that’s one of the things. - He replied

He said that how do I create such good songs and I am almost perfect at it.

A brisk smile appeared on my face and you know the reason, it’s obvious.

But then I managed to control my excitement. And then as usual Mr. Philosopher who is just a few weeks old started bragging.

There is a very good thing about being a philosopher. Guess what??

You are just born philosopher or you have a 100 years experience of philosophy, you win the same amount of appreciation for your crap.

In fact the fresher’s are more invited because they are very young to talk such a good crap.

Is n’ it??

So I told him that he thinks me the perfectionist but I have seen myself far better people than me.

And who the hell wants to be perfectionist- I said to him

Because when the perfection will appear then the music will engulf me as whole and then everything will cease to exist, the movement of hands, the control of breath, and the sound everything will cease to exist. - I elaborated further.

Oh my god! The last statement seemed to be passing over his head but he never showed up.

See, this is what distinguishes a young philosopher from an experienced one. The young ones are in a habit of bragging about their knowledge everywhere. They don’t have a sense of the thing that “where to speak, and where not”. But the experienced have it.

He then told me if I can teach him to play a guitar.  I shook my head in an affirmative way.

Yeah!  Make it on Sunday- I said to him

Then we began talking about other things. He was asking me about the basics of guitar.

He inquired about the strings of guitar, that placing fingers in different frets makes a different sound.

And then again i started bragging my philosophy. But this time I was awestruck by something I spoke.

I told him that holding onto something (I meant the fingers with a synonimity with the inner feelings) in a particular manner makes it magical.

Something was recalled in my mind which I wrote last night, ‘the expression’.

I told you that expression is miraculous till its flowing freely and when it is obstructed it plunders everything but that definition was incomplete.

The proper definition is, that “expression when hold in a particular fashion and then made to flow freely in the same manner, creates a miracle”

Yes this is the right definition. The moment it was redefined, a trance was shot inside me. And I found again myself in state of internal ecstasy. My fingers started moving on guitar once again.

I spoke of nothing but just the music, no lyrics in it.

I stayed for 10 more minutes there and then l was back to home.  I felt tired so I fell on bed, but it never helped. That joy in my head still prevailed and beautiful scenes came and passed by in my mind. It did not let me fall in sleep. 

Then suddenly I felt as if a very large serpent (like cobra) is behind me, a very large with a size like that of a baby elephant. His head was visible to me, and rest of his body was made of light. It was just an imagination of my mind. That same snake has appeared in different sizes, and at different places in my dreams, and I also felt scared several times.

Once I was surfing on the internet about the dream interpretation, then I saw the snake thing.

It said that the snake symbolizes the movement and awakening of inner power. And there were similar experiences of some people being described.

But still I feared it; I have never seen a snake that big. But still again the joyful feeling prevailed.

I was thinking of how nature or god draws diversity in same object. I mean I knew of an expression as a free flowing emotion till yesterday, and now it tells me that expression is a curious case of holding an emotion in a particular way to spell a magic. It’s like I said before beyond my understanding.

Slowly and slowly that previous fantasy and idea of getting famous was diminishing. I do not mean that I was losing heart but I was realizing a more profound knowledge of my inner being that tends to stay like a stone in foundation of TajMahal, of whom nobody asks about but certainly it is that support that keeps one of the Seven Wonders of the World as breathtaking as ever.

But still there remains a significant amount of that famous thing in my mind. I am not perfect, I am just a human and I think that’s acceptable. Is not it??

    

Yesterday, my mother was telling me that she is getting a promotion and certainly increases in his grade pay.

Should I take it??- She asked me

Yes of course - I replied

Then she says may be I get transferred for that.

No, no then don’t take it- I replied in a frustrated disagreement.

Now what is frustrating about it you must be wondering? So let me clarify.

I suffered from two very serious sicknesses from my childhood, mother sickness and home sickness.

Now you got it. And I think we all have that common sickness. Is not it??

I can’t stay more than 4 or 5 days at a new place. I need my home, my own bed, and my mother.

It sounds childish. But I can’t help it. My sister and my mother also say about this thing that I have developed as a body but not as a mind. I am a kid still.

But seriously I never want to grow beyond a kid, because what I think is a kid is always in a just born state and sees the world as a first show of a movie. He is curious, he is in super learning state and holds the purity like that of a lotus in a swamp. So that is the reason to stay a kid. One more thing is that the kids are lesser prone to death; I mean the natural deaths as compared to the older ones.

So that is my own idea of immortality, “stay a kid, stay immortal”

See again the Mr. Philosopher bragging, but it doesn’t matter. This is my own book and I can brag as much as I want.

So let’s brag more.

 

Last night I was having a look at that how much I have written so far, and how much more I need to write to complete the book, then I was also thinking that my book don’t have a particular story or something like that people like to read, and even at some places my book appears like a holy Bible, or Bhagwad Gita preaching the principles of Karma, and all that holy crap.

But then it is like that, and we are humans and we do all of that in our daily life unconsciously, and I was just raking up those things through my observations and throwing a light on all those to bring them in our conscious mind so that we can exploit more of those things. Isn’t it?

So like I was telling you about the amount of data I have cut, copy, and paste from my mind to on paper, and it was around 30 A4 size papers. So I said to myself that how much more, a 100 pages??

Or 200??

I was not sure so I opened a PDF format eBook on my laptop. There were around 800 pages.

What??..... 800 pages??

I stumbled a bit from that place of height where I was for a moment.

 I mean it’s even hard to simply copy a text of 800 pages, and men I am thinking and then writing it or more precisely typing it and that makes it even more worst.

But then disappointment is like a TADKA in DAL. It adds taste to your work. And always remember that god help those, who help themselves. Isn’t it??

 I was in a state of paranoia, 30 pages till now and 770 to go.

My god! Where the hell you got this idea of writing a book- I said to myself.

A fool, mad behind a girl, writing a book and thinking that you’ll join the ranks of Romeo- Juliet,

Laila-Majnu.

Idiot, a totally hopeless case - I said to myself in angst

But then you see a savior enter the scenes of the same movie, and this man is known as the Mr. Emergency Exit. All of us are quite familiar with this man called “EMERGENCY EXIT.” Is not it??

Many times it saves us, like telling us to flee during a fight when the opponent is stronger. 

 

He reminds me of a book that I borrowed from Vartul the same day in the afternoon. The book was called “The monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma. And to add more to it, it is an international bestseller.  I heard of this book 2 years ago through one of my college friends but I never read it. And the reason why I didn’t read it was that, till the time it was out in the market, I already had overdose of that thing called motivation mostly injected through the MR. Paulo Coelho’s writings.

The pilgrimage, Brida, Eleven Minutes, the Alchemist.

I mean I can’t handle more of those motivating crap, god save me.

So that was one of the reasons why I did not read the book. But this afternoon, I took it from Vartul, but then again I didn’t read it because I was afraid that it might affect my genuineness of writing. So I placed it over the dining table and said to myself that I’ll read it after I complete my book.

So like I was telling you that Mr. Emergency Exit reminded me of that book, so I scanned my

 Hard-drives for its images that I captured in the afternoon with my biological cameras. I mean I can go and straight away and have a look on the book, but you know I was inside a quilt, and on a winter night nobody wants to break out even for a second from that cozy feeling. Isn’t it??

So finally my searches show the results found. I had a look on those findings and then what I saw was like ‘Ripley’s believe it or not’.

The book seemed to have maintained a figure like that of a zero size figure actress, I mean closer to that.

Thank god! I am redeemed.

The book appears to be a 200 or 250 pages, but not more than that. I’ll check it in the morning what exact number is it. – I said to myself.

So finally, I was back in LA LA land with Matrushka.

I switched off the laptop and same goes for today. Switching off the device, because it is time to get some sleep.