'Agape'....thE UnconDiTionaL LovE

so i am back...!! i tried to make call to my sis like i said before to dissemble my ego...but sometimes i think god turns against you and is in no mood to do favours for us..

i called my sis..but she didn't picked up the phone...but i was desperate to do it...so i called on one of her friend cell.....
thank god he picked up his cell.....i inquired about her...
he told me that her cell is not working properly that's why she is not picking it up...and as she lives in a girl's hostel so i can't talk to her right now....

now men you tell me..for first time i tried to take the initiative of something and it didn't turn into my favour...even the god doesn't want that my ego should shatter....and
now what should i conclude from that....
i mean a mere coincidence...or like i said before that god does not want my ego to shatter...

whatever, i tried it once....and i'll again try it in the morning or till i set it right..because you must have heard that the god tests your patience.. in my case the stubbornness....
and believe me my lord i bet that you'll lose this time...and i mean it....
ha ha ha...i think god must be feeling terrified..
don't you think so???
i mean see my confidence...rarely any one of us bet with god...did you??

so lets see what happens....
now after the previous post i logged in on facebook...but few minutes later my father called me and said
some guest is about to arrive..and i have to go to escort him home...

ok!! now that is the most terrible part...
i don't like the guests at all...i mean when guests arrive you become very formal...
and etiquette's are the first victim on arrival of guests...
i mean you never exercise them for days...an then suddenly one day the guests arrives or crashes in and then we twist and turn and bend the etiquette's so brutally....i mean how painful this is for the etiquette's when they are not exercised for days and then suddenly you know... i need not to tell..

so that's why i don't like guests at all...
 i have a heart like i said "ice cream in hot summer"..so i can't slaughter the poor etiquette's...

but i have to do it because i am a social animal so i got up, took the keys, and started my bike.....and then i left...
ok!! he was a boy  from our faraway relation.... i escorted him back to home...
now my job is done.. and i disappeared like the 'horns over a donkey's head'...
now please don't apply the pressure on your nerve cells....
i know that donkeys don't have horns.....it's just a saying ..a comical one

i picked my guitar and went upstairs on roof top....i started playing the guitar...i was feeling pretty good today so firstly the recent numbers..and then i tried some new chord progressions...

and what the crap!!.... a new composition..??

see this is the beauty of music...
you need to get into the flow of music   and then you lose everything....
you become a part of it..and it overtakes you....and then your soul sings along...
your ego, hatred, anger, jealousy.. i mean all the things disappear...and you enter into a state of complete absorption...
some people then cries, some laughs, some lose their consciousness, etc .etc...
it varies from person to person..
in my case it is the crying most of the time, but sometimes laughing prevails....you don't have any reason to cry or laugh or whatever....
i have manier times tried to interpret the thing but the moment i do it...the charm breaks off...and you are back in this insane world... and you feel like a fallen angel...
so i never try to understand it now, because it is beyond my understanding or may be it is within my understanding but i don't have that much potential to interpret it...
but whatever the thing is..its blissful..i feel very calm and serene and contended....
i mean all the enlightening words you find in an Oxford dictionary..  

so as the song was finally projected into the material world...so there is certainly an interpretation to all that is material....
the song was about the condition of the present world...the violence, anger, bloodshed...etc.etc..

i have discovered that control  over my voice was getting better and better day by day as well as on
the guitar...
i have learnt a lesson from all this...
i mean when i tried to have control over my voice and the guitar..
i wasn't able to do it. no matter how much effort i put into... so this is what i want you to learn also from my experience that it's not the effort alone that makes you perfect at something but the thing matters the most is.... how much you delve into or get absorbed into something...and that is the key to perfecting an art
so  i think you got my point...

now that's enough for the time being ....i mean overfeeding your brain cells might make you go crazy..just as you can't handle the overfed stomach and vomit out everything... 

so after that i descended from that heaven and the rooftop and searched for my notebook in which i used to write my own compositions...
it was lying on my bed ...i picked it up and jotted down lyrics..not exactly what i was singing (because you can't commit so fast something to memory) but yes certainly the quite similar lines...

after so many days..i composed a new song ..infact after so may months i should say....

after that we had lunch together with our guest...
my mother told me that he should make acquaintances with the surroundings so i need  to show him the places like.... to visit my maternal grandmother house(remember i mentioned her in my previous post)...

so we left for the same....after reaching there you all know what is the most obvious thing that can happen..i need not to elaborate upon that...
so my grandma and the boy ran into conversation...and i was feeling sleepy..so i went to bedroom and let my body feel the gravity ...

while i was in half awakened state(which we call the alpha state in scientific terms)...a thought of Matrushka swept over my mind....and a feeling of intense love swallowed me...
though she was not in my conscious mind but deep impressions are committed to our subconscious..and when you fall asleep or in a dream, or in a set of certain similar circumstances triggers the past memories and that's because that is the time when your subconscious opens up to higher frequencies..        

some memories are painful, some ecstatic...in my case the latter one..
it was beautiful....her face appeared on the canvas of my mind....she was beautiful as she was before and her smile as deadly as ever...

i noticed something very unlike about the feeling...
i mean its a rare phenomenon...called the 'Agape'..
now you must be wondering  what the hell is this Agape???

well to add to your knowledge...'Agape' means the 'Universal or Unconditional love' like great saints and mystics have for humanity..
the word was added to my vocabs while i was reading a book called "The Pilgrimage"
of world famous Brazilian author mr. Paulo Coelho a few years back..

i have heard manier times this word called the "uunconditional love" mostly in godly sense but never ever felt of it this way....or did i??

yes!! not only me but you must have also felt it...don't you??
i mean we love our pets..most obvious of them, a Dog..... we pamper or cuddle the dog..don't you??
so is it that you are asking for something from the dog....???
no!! certainly not!!...
but we just love it to give, to shower all our heart on dog unconditionally..
but we don't realize it that actually we are doing it.....

so this phenomenon is now no more rare....as i have finally unearthed the secret.....ya ha ha ha...
so now i believe that we all are great saints...
we need not to perform penance, no going to Himalayas for seeking the truth..no need to have long beards and hairs...
we are already saints...the genuine saints...

today really i was having such beautiful experiences..i mean some days are really great...

i want to elaborate upon this thing called the "Agape" or"Unconditional love"...
of all the things i loved very much in my life so far  i had certain attachments, certain expectations, possessions..and i think that was the reason i feared to lose them..and inspite of the fact that i loved them so intensely they extended beyond my reach..
but when i met Matrushka.. i didn't had this thing called Love in my mind...it was just like a mission for me...
"Mission Matrushka"..........now that was funny...
and i didn't even cared if its accomplished or not!!
but then how i fell in Love with her is a mystery similar to the states i experienced while playing the guitar..

though the mission was not accomplished as you know it already...but still she remains like what??
yeah!!! like the 'Pole Star' at night which does not move across the sky unlike the other stars...

well that sounds very sweet and poetic..isn't it??
but to be honest i have stolen this term  from the movie called '10000 B.C' which i was watching last night on my laptop...
but Matrushka is genuine..that you all know...
that unconditionality made me feel that no matter she is with me or not, she loves me or not...
ofcourse she doesn't love me but still i won't feel any aches in my heart..because there is no condition so no consequences...as simple as that...  its just love and nothing else...
so here i learnt so many lessons today...it was a great day...

guys i am sharing these experiences with you because i think there is no need to reinvent a bulb again and again..we can start from the end of the efforts that mr.Thomas Alva Edison did to make out of it
a more better thing. so similarly you can benefit from my experiences...

but yes the basics are still to be learnt there are no shortcuts, in that case even mr. Edison can't help you...
so just be yourself...and cultivate this thing called the unconditional love..




   
     



   


 

    

"Practice before you Preach"

so last night i told you about thinking....that we think a lot and that is the reason we falter.
after publishing the previous post, i had nothing to do and i can't write another post in a single day...

reason??/
firstly i should give time to my readers to not get bored of the content..
secondly, i can't think so much in a day...i mean too much thinking sucks the creative juices out of your head...
so i logged in onto facebook..one of my favorite timepass..chatted with one or two friends and my sis.

my sis is a very sweet girl..she is doing CS (finals) from Delhi... infact i have two sisters pursuing the same course....the other sister who is 3 and a half younger than me has cleared the first level and still 4 levels to go..and like i said the other in final level...

the one in final level is almost my age...
like i said she is very sweet girl...
i have an interesting story about her..

actually she  is not my blood sister..do you understand the blood sister???
ok!!
so i met her like this...
my younger sister and she shared a room in PG in Delhi.

so one day my younger sister found her crying in alone..
the reason??/
she don't have any brother...so she was crying..

ok!! now my younger sister is like saviour to the world...ha ha ha
seriously, she has this kind of attitude....
so she said to her that my brother is same as your brother...and she immediately gave a call to me on the cellphone..and explained the matter to me...

oh, my god!!....and i was like a candle melting, or an ice cream in hot summer losing its rigidness...

ok!! ok! tell her... i am there for her- i said to my younger sis..
she said ok!!

sometimes i think...though i have an appearance of boy most of my things are of like girl...ha ha ha
seriously...like the heart!!!
i mean i have noticed boys...they are very tough..and do not respond like the melting thing....
but i am carried away even by a look of a flower...ha ha ha...that sounds funny!!

and i think that's why the girls have no such likings for me...
because they must be thinking in their mind.. that
"idiot!! we already have enough of that with us,
no more!! ...we want some rough and tough"

is this the reason??? ...hmmm?

i tried various times to make myself that 'rough and tough'
but you must have heard that saying...
a "Crow cannot turn into a Swan even if he takes a 1000 dips in milk"
so i am still like that....."the ice cream in hot summer"

so this was how  i met my sister the one in CS finals...

and there is now one more interesting thing to tell......
guess what??
now the one who is my real sister...i mean i don't want to hurt the other sister..it's just a thing to make things more understandable to readers...
she is as important to me like my younger sister... infact a bit more than her...
now why i called it a bit more..??? the reason is...
the younger sister never gives me a call or even text me... but the other sister......
she everyday text me saying.."ma cutie sweetie bhai!!!"..and she text me twice or thrice in a day...chats with me on facebook...and sometimes gives a call...

now this is what happens with everyone of us...
when we have something already with us, we don't care for it..
but who never had the thing cares a lot when he/she gets it...
so i think you can guess of whom i think of my real sis....

this is a bit harsh on my younger sis....
so as i am older than her and as elders are more intelligent...i tell you i don't mind it if she doesn't contact me...because when she was here with me ..she has done a lot to me...
i mean she loves me very much..
she used to get me new apparels out of her pocket money..sometimes out of her piggy bank..
so i don't mind...

infact i can also make a call to her....can't i??
but i don't do it.... reason???
Ego problems!!  ha ha ha...

see!! this is the problem with everyone of us ..."The EGO"
we betray our loved ones just because of that bloody EGO...
don't ever do that to one you love...

and see who is telling you about EGO.....the one who has plenty of it.......ha ha ha
this is another problem with us....we see the imperfections in other souls, but actually it is us who are being mirrored in others, and it is our own flaw that reflects in others...

so what can be done.....???
ok!! first i'll make a call to my sister...and then i'll get back to you.....
and that's because some intelligent being once said..."practice yourself , before you preach something to others."



 
    











  

wE tHinK a Lot

guess what??? 
i woke up this morning and what i found....Matrushka is gone... i mean she was gone already before..
but i mean she was still  in my head ...and she finally left....
i don't say completely..but yes almost....

so  finally Buddha saved me...like i said yesterday
thank god!! a relief for some time...

the moment i woke up, i heard my maternal grandma conversing with my mom....
she was asking about me.

where is Bittu??-said grandma....well that's my pet name..
he is sleeping-mom replied.

so late in the morning??- grandma again asked
yeah!! he works till 1:00 or 2:00 a.m these days.....-mom replied

ok!! tell him to reach the fields at 10:00 a.m when he wakes up....i need his help in the fields -grandma said...
ok!!- mom replied.

now!!! you must be thinking.. what the hell is this field and all, i am talking about...
well let me tell you in brief...

actually my maternal grandparents are farmers...
more accurately only the grandmother..because my grandfather passed away 6 months ago....

my grandfather was like a hero to me... i mean he lost his parents at a very tender age..infact a very very tender age...when he was around 4 years old...
since that time he endured very  hard in his life...
i mean you can't even imagine a kid without parents...i mean most of us...

after his parents died he was with his relatives...but you can understand parents are parents..that space cannot be occupied...
he hailed from Tehri Garhwal...and had some land(fields) over there..
as his parents were gone some of his relatives had an eye over that land....so they tried their best to take possession of it..
when my grandfather gained some of his existence..he realized the situtaion was getting worst...
at that time he was around 14 years old....

he moved to the court of Maharaja Manvendra Shah(king of Tehri at that time) with a petition that the land belongs to him and not to his relatives...
Maharaja sent a spy in village to dig the truth... and he found that my grandfather was right that land belonged to him..
so finally he won the case...

he had 3 daughters including my mother and a son...three of the daughters are govt. teachers now and son an govt.employee in OFD..thanks to all the endurance of my grandpa.
i mean there are so many heroic things about him i have heard... and that's why he was my hero...
a living real life hero infact!!!         

so i was telling you that my grandma called me to the fields...it was about harvesting of sugarcane...
they are having 10 bighas(a measure of land)of land.... and around 5 bighas of it contains only the sugarcane...

so i woke up after that...and after my daily rituals...i went straight to fields...
after some time 10 -15 min later on...the transportation vehicle i mean the Tractor with a Trolley marched into the fields...accompanied by ...of course the driver and a helper.

now it was time to load the trolley....
so who's gone load it.....'Me'??
no! no way!! i can't!!

it's not because that because i am an engineer so it is against my status to lift the sugarcane bundles and load them inside the Trolley.... this is not the reason folks!!

the reason was.... i was caught by cold 5 days back  and my body was aching...and to add to your knowledge folks..those sugarcane bundles weighs on an average of 35kg...and this can sometimes reach upto 50 kgs..
well that's a frequently rare figure..but it is the result of  some insane head cases who pile up those bundles thinking that the one who lifts them is a Superman....

idiots!! i must say..

and to add a bit more... i'll give you an idea of how i look like....
well!! the simplest example  i can give you is...a Ftv model..who is starving of food...ha ha ha..that's funny!!
i mean a bit better than that..but now you know the reason why i was not ready to load them...do you??   

ok!! so back to loading of bundles...
i was not loading the bundles but surely i was helping the other man..the helper(whom i have mentioned before) in lifting the bundles....
he was a man twice of my age(22 years) and add 5-6 years more to it..so that makes it..around 50...
he was a 6 feet and 2" or perhaps 3"....and had a sturdy built..unlike of  me.....like i said before..a Ftv model...

and men believe me..!!.. he was lifting them with so ease... i mean...shame on me!!!!
he is 50 and i am 22 and...see!!
i mean i can only talk nonsense like this..and nothing else....

so while i was watching him(helper) i was hit by a nostalgia...it goes like this

i have been several times to the sugarcane center where the sugarcane is weighed...and then it is transported to sugar mills....and you know the end..... i mean the 'Sugar'...which we use in our daily life...

so many times i have noticed those workers there who unloads sugarcane from the various Trolleys brought by the farmers..and then they loads them into the Truck for transporting it to mills...
i mean they work so hard...continuously to earn a 300 bucks a day to feed their families...and some of them are like me.. i mean the Ftv models......now that's not funny!! seriously....

i mean they have no choice whatsoever...for them its a compulsion...and they have to do it...even if they are having cold.or they are Ftv models or even if the bundle weighs a 50 kgs....
no option boss!!
if they are not Superman..then they must dig the Super in them..otherwise they die of hunger...

sometimes i am annoyed with this kind of injustice of god to humans...
i mean he preaches in scriptures that "all humans are equal"...then why the bloody  hell  he created such difference between man and man...
i mean i don't know how it feels like to be a god...
but i am a human and i know one thing that i can't tolerate this bloody difference between man and man....
i mean i don't have the words to explain how dead it feels inside, to see such a scene...

ok!! now this feeling threw me back in my senses...and i started helping him again in lifting the bundles..
there were around 60 -70 bundles..so finally it was done....

i asked my grandma that is there something else left to do??... she replied- no!! you can go now!!

i was back home..which is, a 100 meters away from the source where i was a few minutes back..
i need to take a shower...so i turned on the Geyser..
in the meantime i picked the guitar and stared playing it.....
after 5 minutes the water was ready...so i took a bath...
then i had some meals.. and side by side i turned on the television and switched on to a movie.. "Rambo 4"
on Utv Action...
those heroic scenes..i mean i simply love them.. Sylvester Stallone fighting alone with an army of gone head cases...and finally shooting down each and every skeleton.

i love to watch such things... i mean not the violence..but the heroism...
you can make out by checking my FaceBook profile..that how much i m impressed by the thing called heroism..
"Troy", "Gladiator", "No Man's Land", "Saving Private Ryan","Blood Diamond" ..etc.etc\
my favorite Movies..

i mean everyone is impressed by the act of bravery and heroism...it's not a new thing that  i am the only person having such likes...but i am telling just because presently i m explaining myself in individual..

so at the start of this post i was telling you that  Matrushka is out of my head to a great extent..
so i was also thinking that there is no reason left to write a book...because she was the core of my writings..
but yesterday as my personal Buddha told me that i need to flow...so i decided that yes i need to write still, though i am not sure about the thing that what should i write about...

see!! this is the problem....we people think a lot!!
i mean thinking is not a bad thing....it is necessary sometimes to re-evaluate yourself.
but excess of anything is dangerous...

while typing the previous sentence an old phrase struck my mind.."Jack of all Trades, Master of None."
you must have heard it.....isn't it??/

but i think this needs a change.....i don't agree with it at all..
i don't agree with it because what i think.... it is cited in the sense to a person..
" that he/she is not perfect at something" ..and that person whosoever he/she was....needs to perfect a single art rather going for every other thing...
it's just an assumption just like we are making it before in different senses...
but i think it is 90-99% correct assumption...

so that is the reason i don't agree with it....because it might fit in the ancient perspective...
but in today's sense it is obsolete though there are certain people who still proves the correctness of the above phrase..
like the living legend.."Sachin Tendulkar."
but these people are rare..infact rarest in rare...

and to prove my statement that  it's obsolete..i mean you can play with the words...
everyone of us has that ability..
so let us take an example of the Tea...Tea you understand??? ..ha ha..just joking.

so if we wan't to make Tea..then what do we need??
i mean the tea leaves, the sugar, the milk, and the water....
now you must read this carefully...
if you don't have the knowledge of every ingredient.. i mean how much amount of it to put into..
then you can't make a good tea...can you??
certainly a no!! a big no!!

so, you see!! you need to know about everything you need to be a "Jack of all Trades" but certainly "Master of none."

ok!! now what was that??

i was trying to disprove a thing, and i almost did it..
didn't  i??
 but what was the conclusion..???
i mean "Jack of all Trades, Master of None "
did it make any difference in the end...
no!! certainly a no!!

so this is what i want to explain it to you the problem is we think a lot...
so remember always  "The Devil is in the Details"...
now pleassss don't say disprove this statement.....
i mean we already tried that...ha ha ha

so enough of enlightening discussions for the day....







    

 



 






        





   

a SAd smiLeY???

so i am back again...... i was about to publish this post today in the morning..
but i wasn't able to write it down on my electronic notebook.....
reason??? ......i was not feeling good....and like i said in my last post that unknowningness has been an integral part of my life... so i didn't knew the reason.....why i was not feeling good
the only thing that was in my mind i know about, was Matrushka....

see!! that is the problem when you  fall in love with someone....
you start thinking....
and think and think...and nothing else except think.....

i was .....like i said.... thinking!!!..... about a few days back...... i was like a wild horse. i did whatever i felt... and then past 2 days have really tested my nerve cells to limits....
this is what happens when you are in love....

i was a preacher a few days back...providing solutions to other people about their life......
and now you can see that i have transformed from preacher to a seeker...ha ha ha..
i have been asking everyone that what to do, how to do and when to do....
and people my godddd!!!

they must be thinking that oh! my god!! Is mr.vivek badoni  asking for solutions from us???
like i mean... some of them might die of a heart attack....

some says...call her!!!
some suggesting me...you just go on writing your blog...
and some still unaware of the fact that why she is not conversing with me...

please don't repeat that again .."why is she not conversing ?"..
i can't  take this anymore...

last night i sent again a friend request to her on facebook...
but no improvement....
like i said before we had a common friend...so i asked him the reason that why is she not responding??

he recited...that she had no choice between friends or me..
she elaborated a bit saying that she can't spoil the relationship with her friends just because of me...

now!!! what was that??? .......i mean it makes no sense....
when did i tell her that leave your friends and just converse only with me...i mean i don't remember that i
said something like that...
and if in case her friends are creating the choices....then what i can say is.....RIDICULOUS!!! really!!

are you her friends??? 
really!!! tell me, are you??
or are you her foes??? ..i think the 'foes' is the word for you guys.... am i right???

 i mean friends are never like that........instead if you really consider her as your true friend...
you should have told her like this..."see Matrushka!!(i mean whatever you call her)...we are your friends, and just go on with the new guy...and if he dares to do anything wrong..then we'll see him!!!"
i mean if i had a friend in same situation..then i would have suggested him/her the same thing....

and if you think that i have done wrong by taking name in the public....then i already apologised for that guys...and if you are hungry for more apologies then i am ready to serve you more of it...

but seriously!! this thing called choice  is really ridiculous...
i mean choices are created by enemies not by friends... give it a thought...

and yes, now back to you Matrushka....are all of you girls are of the same kind??/
 i mean before also i wasted 3 years of my precious life for a girl...who quit me saying behind my back that
"i am a bastard"....   
she always thought in her mind that i am helping her because i want favours from her....
and she was happy to take help from people who cursed her behind her back...
i mean do all of the girls go for the wrong choices...and are blindfolded in case of the right one.  
are you all of same kind??

ok enough!! i can't take more of it!!  let's forget it!!
like i was telling you before that i was not feeling good.... and when i am not feeling good..the only feel good factor i have is my Guitar..yes, the music!!
so i picked my Guitar ...the 'Signature' hollow box...i tuned it..and then i started playing some recent numbers...then drifting towards my own compositions...

music has played really a significant role in my life. it's been like a journey from physical to metaphysical and beyond...
i remember when i used to go for guitar classes at Rajpur Road...
you guys must be knowing about mr. Rejo..the finalist of the first opening of "Mtv Rock On"..
i mean he is a great guy....i'd loved manier times to see his fingers jumping, and drifting on his metal Guitar.
despite of his furiosity on the guitar he is a genuine guy... i mean he is not very old... may be 25 or 26 but still very down to earth person..great guy i must say...

once or i guess twice i met one of his friend...mr.David...an international pianist...he hails from Finland...
and his intensity???.... mind blowing guys!!! mind blowing!!
he must be in his 40's.. but foooooh!!! he is still a kid with exceptionally contagious behaviour.. i mean i was very much impressed!!
he had around 500 music compositions to his credit...that was 3 years back...

now,  i am also pretty handy with the guitar..though still not very good at leads... but yes a few songs to my credits also..ranging from the soft rock to sufi... i did perform them at college level and yes i have received a warm response from the audiences manier times...

so like i was telling you that i switched to guitar to reset my mood...but it didn't work....
 i then went to bed...
i woke up around 2: 30 p.m...had my lunch...but still i wasn't feeling good...
so i decided the problem is..... Matrushka!!!..and i need to flush her out of my mind or i can't work...

but see the magic of small things...i mean even the great ways won't work sometimes..and then a small things put you offshore...

i was texting my sis.... so i put a smiley at the end of the text...and guess what i noticed??
a "SAD Smiley"....ha ha ha ..a brisk smile appeared on my face...and i felt a tickling sensation in my head...
i mean a "SAD Smiley"......its contradictory...a paradox...don't you think so???
a smiley that is sad...that is really humorous... i mean the guy who invented the smileys was a genius..
infact a "Comical Genius"..i should call him...21 guns for the man!!!.... ha ha

so finally my mood was tuned like my guitar....ha ha...and then you know what happened next...
this crap came out...a total crap!!!.... ha ha...


  



  



 

 


 



     

i Said tO maTrusHKa

see i am in no mood to write this post......but i have do it....and i don't know why....

this kind of unknowing-ness has always been with me since my childhood......
and one question that always strayed in my consciousness and  baffled me is
if god created this universe..then who the hell did create the god???....
and if let say X has created  the god then who created X, and if let say again ..Y created X , then who the heavens created Y.....and so on..

i am sure this thought must have struck your mind someday...isn't it???

really!!!!  is there anyone who call them enlightened or self actualized beings can answer my question???
hmmmm??? tell me.... i want to know the answer to this specific question....

ok!!! now leave this matter for a while as i think there is noone who can answer this question.....infact i have a satisfactory answer.....i do not say that it will feed everyone's curiosity...but certainly it satisfies me  for the
time being....
so the answer is....Law Of Conservation!!!
yes!!! the Law Of Conservation.....i think all the guys related to science stream or even to other's stream knows it....
but still to brush up your memory i'll quote it for you....so here it goes....

it states that "nothing can be created, neither can be destroyed, but it can be transformed from one state to another."
and nothing refers to everything like energy, the soul, the god, and like i said everything....

so i think that depresses some of your curiosity folks!!!  i think so!! am i right??

well enough of enlightening discussions.....let's get back to our business...

so previously i was telling you that i was attacked by a virus called LOVE.......and i explained it to you the symptoms and the solutions....so proceeding with the same

after publishing the previous post....i did my breakfast....... and then i went to my cousin's home.
i checked my mails, and the facebook, and  i glanced over my latest post once again....

while on facebook...one of my friend read the latest post "now what the hell was that??"  he replied to me and he seemed to be impressed... and he said that he is inspired by me...and he too is writing a blog...

i said to him please don't expose anyone like i did.....i was a stupid....and you can see the result so far....
Matrushka cum xyz cum 'does not exist'...is not conversing with me from past 3 days.....
reason you all know!!
i have apologised for what i did... but i think she's in no mood to forgive me.....seriously in  no mood...

now tell me!!! i am just  a human...and you must have heard " to err is human, to forgive is divine"..
so i think she should forgive me.....don't you think so???

so like i was telling you that she is not talking to me....so i was a bit tensed today....
i was regretting that i shouldn't have used the original name....my friends already warned me about that...
but like i said "to err is human,................divine".

this has been an old tradition in human society to commit the forbidden. the alpha of the human civilization was a result of committing the forbidden...
The Adam and the Eve......remember father and mother of human civilization??.
they ate the forbidden apple and they were thrown out of Eden garden...the heavens...

but i think some errors are acceptable... i mean, if both of them never committed the forbidden then i think
there should have been no human civilization..
and from my point of view....you see.... i would have never met Matrushka then...ha ha ha. .that was funny ...
isn't it??
so like i said some errors are acceptable......

after the previous sentence i just took a  break of 10 min because my mother was having some problems..... i inquired about it..... it was migraine.. a problem related to head.and she is having it.
its a terrible thing... i mean i have never experienced it but i have heard that it is really really a blunder...
one of my friend was also suffering from the same disorder...and he even broke a bottle on his head while that migraine attack occurred to him.....
my mother never did like that but yes she lost consciousness many times...

i told her several times not to shout or get tensed but you know the woman's how they are...
and to add to her woes......she is a teacher....so you can imagine what effect does it cause on her head...

i searched about this disorder on the Internet a few months back...

it says that it is a result of combination of blood vessel enlargement and the release of chemicals from nerve fibers that coil around these blood vessels. During the headache, an artery enlarges that is located on the outside of the skull just under the skin of the temple (temporal artery). This causes a release of chemicals that cause inflammation, pain, and further enlargement of the artery.

Whatever are the reasons..... but it is hard to be cured completely... it can be lessened with meditation and of course the drugs..
i told my mother to take up the mediation..but she never lends an ear to my words..
you know it.. all the mothers of this world thinks that her son is still a kid..and knows not much....
i mean.... i told her just because i have experienced meditation benefits..
i suffered from a problem called "Nasal Sinusitis"(a problem associated with nose) since i was in fifth standard..
i took up meditation...and now it's gone completely.

you know what??.............its not the pills that cure a disorder or disease....it is our self belief that cures us...
and that is why i m emphasising on meditation instead of medication....
i'll tell you some other day about  the meditation and my physical and metaphysical experiences with it...

so!! like i was telling you that some errors are acceptable....as they are the initiators of a change...a great change sometimes...
like Neil Armstrong said once when he landed on the moon for the first time.....

"a step of a man, a giant leap for mankind"...

so same goes here ....who knows??  may be i was chosen by the almighty...like we all say..."bali ka bakra"...ha ha ha...
to a start of a new change...may be!!! 
so that's why  i say that ....Matrushka...please! please! please!........ forgive me.
Try  to understand......that i am "bali ka bakra."
please lets settle the disputes if any of it exists.........

i mean it's OK..that i am at the receiving end..
but seriously don't let it happen if it is just your ego that is keeping you away from talking to me.. i mean it happens with everyone of us.. i am not pointing specifically at you...

or are there any other problems??? is it so??

i mean like after i yelled your name in the public.. your friends may be teasing you...is it so???
if that's the problem then i suggest you something...... seriously....
listen to your heart!!! what does it say??/
i mean you only said that day while chatting..."kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam he kehna"

now you are holding back on your words... i mean that's not the trademark of a real human....
all i can say i am not a bad guy...but yes... like i said  i am "bali ka bakra" chosen by the god...

rest the choice is yours....listen to your heart...and not to anyone...not even to your friends or not even to me....
because life gives us opportunities in disguise in an unusual manner which seems to be wrong and
weird... but it is the poison that turns into ambrosia in the end...so give my suggestion a thought..

and if in case you love someone....so nothing much i can do about it...... all i can say in that case that i am an unlucky guy and i should have met you before.....or to add a bit humor to it....
i wished Adam and Eve would have had the apple a bit earlier...so i would have met you more earlier and grabbed the opportunity to be with the most beautiful women i have ever seen on earth...

so are there any other problems left to say???  i mean.... may be more of it.....
like i am not handsome...not a hunk, macho man.....ha ha ha....is that so??...is it??

okkkk!!!! if that's the problem then i can help you....like i can have a plastic surgery of my face and make me....... like what???..........i mean like which is your favourite actor....??
John Ibrahim....no!!.......... not John??....... then ?? ......
oh i see!!......mr.Brad Pitt...
ok!!! done!!.....i 'll get it done like Brad pitt....now are u happy???

ok!!! now that are you happy!!!.... then can we talk??....no??

oops!!! i forgot one thing!!!.......guess what??

HEART!!! the Heart....like i said before...the pen drive of an engineer....

it stays as it was!!..the stupid one!!!  it cannot be emulated....
no plastic surgery of the heart..to make it like the heart of mr. Brad Pitt.......
crap!!! total crap!!!

now i am really started to believe that i am a..... so called 'bali ka bakra."
is there any way left?? can anyone tell me???  hmmmmm??

 i feel such terrible................yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
































 














   

now WhAT tHE heLL Was tHat???

so last night was a good one.... it was "comedy of terrors" like i said....
if any of you havn't read the previous post, then you must read it....it is quite a humor...

so i had a conversation with my sis and one of my friend last night on facebook.....
They both were asking me that what the hell happened??? and am i all right???
why did she leave you??

The BLOG!!! and The Blog!!! that was the most obvious reply i can give to someone asking such a question that why did she leave you???

She must be scared - said my friend ..
hmmm!!!! i think so... i replied..

my hmmmm was containing some traces of sadness in it... i mean i never meant to hurt her... i was just!!! you know!!!.........what should i say??.....you know it all guys...it happens...and i did apologise for that..

and my sister was giving me consolation........nothing much she can do about it..

is all girls are the same??
do they always fall for the bad guys and never they stand up for one right guy who loves them truely??
is it so?? - i asked  my sis

no!! no!!! it's not like that!!
don't get worried my sweet brother i'll find a good girl for you- my sis replied..
hmmm!!! - i said

ok!! that was allright!!! but did you notice something that i just said before 2 sentences...???
did you notice??  did youuuuu??......."that one right guy who loves them truely??"

did i say that???

oh my god!!! now what the hell was that???
"love them truely??/"

 i mean i said it before in my first post  that i wasn't falling for her or i don't love her...it's just that i liked her...
 but LOVE??  oh crap!! that can't be true!!!
 but is it god???  come'on tell me....be frank!!! my lord!! is it so??/-i said
a big silence......................................a big big silence knelled in my mind!!!
................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................
..................................
ok!!! now that's enough!!! i am going mad..-i said to myself
 i quickly typed a sweet gunnnie to my sis.....pressed the"Enter" button on my laptop..and
so i did to my friend....then logged out..

i switched off everything....and i was completely inside the quilt.... in a similar posture like a baby in her mother's womb...
it took me  a while to take that bug called "LOVE" out of my mind...and then i was asleep...

it is 07:45 a.m...27 january 2011...
VIVEK!!!................ VIVEK!!............... VIVEK!!! - my dad yelled at me....uth ja jaldi!!!

well i heard it in the first time itself my name "vivek" but i think this happens with everyone of us that we don't answer it in first time when we are sleeping or more precisely we pretend as if we are in a deep sleep and we don't know who the bloody hell xyz is..........in this case mr. "vivek".....ha ha ha...i think that's funny... doesn't it???
but guys this overacting doesn't get over here.......

hmmmmmm!!!!!! - i replied to my dad...

now this hmmmmm doesn't mean simply hmmmmm....there is a difference...
see!!! the hmmmmm in this case contains an enormous amount of pain we put into or pretend to put into...as if we were not sleeping on bed of sleepwell's but on a bed of thorns,or pebbles.......ha ha ha...now that's again funny...doesn't it??/

so finally i switched on my biological computer... i mean my mind......
now what the hell was that again???

while booting....ha ha...the first thought that hit my harddisks was... miss "does not exist"...
crap!! total crap!!
i mean what??? are you gone mad?? - my mind told me....
it was like my computer getting scanned....and sudddely some alert blings...
"a virus has been detected".....  now that's funny.
aaaa VIRUS??
a virus called LOVE like i said...

well guys as i m a computer engineer... or more precisely aspirrrrrrre to be a computer engineer...
so nobody can tell you better than me....... that what issss a Virus??

well!!!!!
i'll not tell you about the different viruses i studied in enginnering...
infact i'll tell you about a different virus!!! The one i encountered while my biological system was getting boot
time scannned.....
so the virus like i said..."LOVE"....

it is not a virus like the computer viruses. containing  malicious source codes that crash your system...but yes it is a little bit like that......

as an enginner we are not humans exactly...we are cyborgs....

do you understand what are cyborgs ???

well!!! cyborg is a half human half machine.....

so as we wre machines.... a bit.... like i said....we have some primary and secondary or you can call periphrels devices associated with us....

so!!!!! our mind is the primary thing...but we rarely use it...ha ha ha...
and if we use it sometimes then we use it for insane means....like i m using it just now....ha ha ha....

and there is a peripheral called HEART....
aaaaahhhhhhhhh......now this is something that makes us human..
a bit..... like i said...

so!!! exactly this is the most important part of our observation of viruses.....

see!!! even if you are not a person of technical line...nothing to worry...

so!!! all of you must have plugged a pen drive on your laptop or pc..whatever!!  am i right???
ok now!!! some of the time it's ok!!! is it???


but if you had an anti-virus installed on your system and sometime you plugged the pen drive and if there is something malicious in the drive... a message blings...."a virus has been detected"...like i said before.
doesn't it???

ok now!! what do you do??? 
i mean formatting the drive is the only easiest option...is it??

yes it is!!
and then only you can work safely.........

now!!! similarly....heart is like pen drive.....
if you have something malicious in it...you can't work safely.. it's as simple as that...

now LOVE is not exactly the culprit.....it is just a name of a virus..like "Trojan Horse" that replicated itself on every execution...ha ha ha
the culprit issssss...... the source code called the GIRL....ha ha ha
and you dare to plug your heart into your system!!!

you want to know ???...what blunder can it cause???

so the answer isssssssss........ you can end up like me ....writing a blog...ha ha ha..
about a GIRLLLLLLLL!!!!!
so folks!!!  choice is yours...the mind or the pen drive??  ha ha ha... i mean the HEART..

well i think i'll go for the heart!!!!  as i am doomed by this virus called LOVE....
but you don't follow me!!! seriously!!!
 i mean... i m corrupted and my system is now under the dictatorship of LOVE so i have no option....
but you guys are lucky....so can learn from my experience......all i can say is don't ever never crucify yourself.....because no anti-virus is developed so far to fix this bug..

there is a solution to it...but it'll not help again...
i mean....if another girl comes in my life and she becomes "MERLIN MONROE" and unchecks "MONA LISA"...ha ha ha..
oops!!! sorry!!nothing funny about it!!!!
because the problem stays still...the source code... the girl....the LOVE....
so you better format  the pen drive before plugging it in your system...
no LOVE..... no crashes....no problems.......as simple as that!!!

Did you get it??? hmmmm.........








 











     


     

tHE coMedy of TErrOrs

ok!!!  now!!!......... today was the most  fu***ng day in past 8 or perhaps 9 months..... the reason was obvious....you know!!!...what kind of a stupidity i have attempted in public in the past 4 or 5 days....
i mean people say so!!!
some of you may be reading it for the first time so i can summarise for you guys...

i called someone by his name...that's all to say it in one sentence.....
and people think i'm stupid...idiot...moron and so on..now that's humorous..haha....

my neurons were under a great strain for past 18 hours.....the reason??

first of'all someone proved my assumptions correct......secondly the friends texting me about the last night tragedy..... . a mixed response!!

some saying "yeh to hona he tha!!!".....    

idiots!!!! grrrrrrr!! thinking of themselves as the foretellers and taking pride in it.- i said to myself

some saying  that "you should talk to xyz"....

yaaaaaaaa damn!!! i don't have her number....should i use telepathy just like the Indian superhero  Shaktimaan did to contact miss Geeta Biswas. ha ha ha.-i said again to myself.

ooops!!! i did it again!!!
i must break this habit of taking everyone's name in public....
 now i fear that Shaktimaan and Geeta Biswas will take me to the court and judge will repeat 10 times....
 "Hang Till Death"...ha ha ha.... is it so??  What do you think guys??.... hmmm...

Actually i am not afraid of Geeta Biswas. After all she is just a girrrrrrl!!!!.......but but but.....i really need to give some thought to mr.Shaktimaan. ...he is her, sooooo called boyfriend!!!....ha ha ha..
he has supenatural powers.......he can burn me....throw me in air....rotate my head like he does with his body....plus he has so many best friends to torture me .........like Kapala, and the stone man,and the electric man, and ofcourse who can forget Doctor Jackaaaaaal....ha ha ha ha ha.....i m feeling twitches in my stomach. i can't brrrrrreathe.....ha ha ha ha...
oh my god !!!! i am doomed!!!!! mercy my lord!!! mercy!!!!......ha ha ha

ok!!! now enough of horrible fantasy!! back to reality.....
i also felt that i shouldn't have taken the name in public....you know it's not good sometime perhaps!!! so i once again apologise for my misdeeds.....but i never meant to hurt anyone!!!
i should have used some fictitous name like i did later on....the Matrushka!!!
i mean..... tell me... if there still something wrong with the name??? Should i use something else??
like "does not exist"....ha ha ha...

i think that's the perfect name....."does not exist".
then you can think of the previous sentences containing the original name as  "does not exist"...haha
for e.g...... "does not exist" exists in my soul....
or like i greet....hey hiiii "does not exist"...how are u??.

you see!!!  can u ever ask someone that does not exist about how he/she is....???
i mean what "does not exist" will tell you in reply...... ??

Java.Lang.Thread.Main ....error at line 20: Person Not Found Exception........ha ha ha ha
now that is something technically humorous!!  is this what "does not exist" replies..???

ok now again!! enough of it!!
after so many replies from friends .......ike i said before
i was confused...totally confused!!
and what effect terror and confusion can cause in your mind ?? can you imagine??...so here is the answer....

i was wondering if  "Matrushka" or "does not exist"...have any brother reading my post...then he must be too too eager to kick my ass....

does she have it???  don't tell me??? are you sure??

oh my god!! oh my god!!!......mercy my lord!! mercy!!!......
i apologise my brother...i hold back my words...but pleassssss don't kick my ass!!!

actually it's not my fault....it's all your sister's fault....
Why is she so beautiful???
ok!! ok!!...... ok!!.............ok!!  but that's none of my business...i hold back my words brother.

mercy!! o mercy!! don't tear my jersey!!! ........brother!!..... ha ha ha

ok now!! that was just an assumption...a horrible one.....thanks to my imagination!!
but now again, that's not my fault!!!
 we the computer engineers are used to assumptions about the worst cases in various algorithms!!!

 and may be if she's having a boyfriend!?!?!?.......may beeeee!!!!

i didn't say she is having it yaar!!! it is just an assumption!!!!
mark my words!!
and don't tell me afterwards that i said that she is havvvvving aaaaaa boyfriend...
so if we assume that....then again the worst case implies ...ha ha

and what if in case both of the assumptions are true???..........then???
what!?!?!
i mean...is there something else left to assume...hmmmm..tell me??
can any of you suggest me something genuine and applicable to escape the worst case sequences?? can you??

i don't think so..
rather i should hang myself. before both of them hangs me or bangs me....whatever!!!!....

fooooh!!! now i am able to believe what a great and beautiful thing...the MIND is....
fulllllllll of assumptions.....horrrrrrible assumptions....ha ha ha

so that's enough i think for the time being...and i hope "does not exist" have no problem with my "existing"  blog now....
ha ha ha...gud bye to all....




 



   



  

Matrushka Is Gone Forever And Me Feeling Broken

i mean what went wrong???  Did i write something bad about her???  Is she not beautiful???
Did i lie about her beauty??  i mean.........what???  Tell me...who can answer my questions???
Is it a sin to say the truth??.............if it is a sin then damn it.... i won't surrender to tyranny of anyone......she was one of my most beautiful part of life i experienced and she stays forever like that within my soul......and even she also cannot deny that she is beautiful!!! 
if she had a problem with my blogs....she should have told me on the very first day!!!
i mean how can she be such mean to me....though i was noone to her but she was the creator of a beautiful world inside me and she must respect my feelings as a human....

Did she think that i m an insane guy or i am the bad guy????

yes!!!! i am a bit insane because i don't hide my feelings....every friend of mine knows this fact....but i m not a bad guy and i am certain about it!!!

Don't the devotees express fiercely the love for the God???.....Don't the musician dissolve themselves into music completely???  Don't the painter expresses  every hues boldly in their painting?? Doesn't it???

yes they do!!!!  and so i did !!!  i expressed the intensity of her within me.... Is it wrong???
Tell me oooo you intelligent humans!! you are more intelligent then me then tell me what is the right thing???

and yes miss xyz!!!!  if anywhere in the world you still exist apart from my soul....then listen!!!
you took me very wrong!!! very very wrong!!! you have hurted  heart of an artist infact of a true guy!!
and i swear if anyone in the world have described you more truely and perfectly than me...no one!!!
no one would have ever done that!!!

i never decribed you just because i wanted favours from you......i asked you for the phone no. just as a friend...and nothing much more than that.....

and i am really very very sorry if i have ever hurted you!!!  i didn't mean that!!! i apologise for all this mess!!!
you should have told me once!!! i don't even have your phone no. to explain myself!!!!
i was thinking to write a book !!!! i was waiting for you tonight to appear on facebook and i was excited to tell you about this book!!

anyways i'll remove all my posts if you don't like them!!! but really!!!! you really annoyed me!!!!
i'll never forget you both as a beautiful and the most tragic incident of my life......

you rendered me speechless!!!
all i can say to every guy that guys  if you really want to appreciate then appreciate anything except a WOMEN!!!

The Tuesday: Matrushka alias xyz removes me from her friend's list on fb

it's Tuesday i havn't attended even a single lecture since 11 of this month... so i decided to go to college as Vartul told me yesterday that we have to fill up a registration form...
oops!!! i didn't tell you about Vartul, though i mentioned him in my earlier post...
welllll!!! Vartul is one of the most infact the single bestee..  he is my friend since i went to college for the first time... like i said. he was the first person i found interesting , infact very interesting...
my intersets in him are a consequences of the similarity that we share in our nature...the thought process.and the unquenchedness...
the only differentiation that distinguishes us is the ability of him to flirt with girls so very easily....and you know mine........ like i said i am very worst on it...ha ha ha!!!

so back to classroom ............ the first lecture...... miss Shefali enters.... and three of us... me, vartul and munshi jumped to first bench ...and the reason is obvious....miss shefali is a  pretty lady...or should i say the right word.....hmm!!...
gorgeous!!!... yes!!!.. that issss the right word...    gorgeous!!!
a good sense of humour i think so.... she has!!

we discussed about the prepositions.. to, by, with, among, in, of........etc.etc.etc.....

the first lecture is over!!!! now time for gossips......
the most happening thing these days in my life is .....THE BLOG.... and ofcourse miss xyz...oops!!!
 i mean Matrushka!!! don't you remember i gave her a name of my liking....Matrushka!!

his style of writing is very tidy....doesn't it??-  vartul said to munshi
yeah!!! and vocabulary too!!! its brilliant!!!- replied munshi
 i shook head in agreement...ha ha ha....i felt very embarrased.
i mean you can do nothing much about it when somebody is praising you on your face..

ohhhhh!!! bloody hell!!! Now what's dis?? i stopped for a while ...while writing this blog and what i saw???
my heart is in my mouth!!!   you know what????
Matrushka alias xyz just removed me of her friends list!!!!..... fooooohhh!!!...
i m feeling as if somebody pulled out the ground underneath me!!!
as if someone has removed a canvas from front of a painter... i m struck by lightning..... an intense one.....

i m leaving this post incomplete........i can't handle it just now!!!!








  

Matrushka

its 07:14 a.m. GMT +5:30.....
my dad made some tea for me..... i have been looking at my older posts and doing some edits..
ya!!!  it's done!!!
so here is the new one....
last night it was a bit terrible for me because she didn't appear on facebook..
i asked one of our common friend Saransh about the subject.
yes she appeared on Gtalk-said Saransh
okkkkkk!!!! now what the bloody hell that means......is she avoiding me???  or is it that she want me to get obssesed more of her???/  and that may be the reason that she didn't appear on facebook..
ha ha ha..... my god!!!!! the latter prediction is really insane...i have been laughing at my thought process...
see!!!! this is the problem with the artisitc minds.... it assumes much more of a reality.
but really i must say i am obsessed with her....
i was so eager to tell her that now 32 people are following my blog...and i have been receiving phone calls and messages from friends curious to know about her that who is she.....most of them asking is she your girlfriend????...and like i said some artistic minds assuming much more of reality and asking me......acha bhabhi hai hamaari???
ha ha ha ha  ....i burst into a laugh...... a big laugh...after reading this message!!!

no no!!! i don't even remember her face fully you bastard... - i replied.

she appeared on facebook after 10:00 p.m. every night and stayed till 11:00 p.m. i waited for her till 11:00 p.m. but like i said..she didn't apppear last night!!!
i was not so very hopeless as i was busy in checking mails and replying to them...and telling more people about my new blog.
it occured several times to me that i was eager for something and it didn't turn out to be the way i wanted it to be!!!
finally i switched off everything...the cell phone, the laptop and ofcourse the light.
i was trying my best to delve into a sleep..but i wasn't able to switch off her in my mind..... like i said i was completely obsessed with her....

MATRUSHKA!!!!!! the word knelled in my mind.....
i have named my blog matrushkavivek because it was the only easily available name in my mind as well as on the internet....
i heard this name during my childhood...my cousin used to use this name as her yahoo id to chat on internet.
i liked the word.... it got instilled in my mind..it refers to something russian probably a name of a girl....
i wasn't sure so i switched on my cell phone....turned on the browser.... typed the name Matrushka...
bingo!!!! its here...the wikipedia!!  it talks about some russian dolls known as Matrushka...
 now!!! that's interesting...i said to myself..
a doll??? hmmmm!!! so what if i call her Matrushka...
Matrushka!!!! a girl, a doll...... and now xyz has transformed into Matrushka......
soooooo!!!
Welcome to my world Matrushka...............


  
  

Liberty

Gautam Buddha once said......what u think u become.  Well said.....mr. Buddha!!!
after the miss xyz encounter.... now i really began to imagine what blunder can a women create in a man's head...and to how much intensity a women can propel  your rendition.

Now i really began to think about the creative arts.
This world has a very limited expression of creativity...
All of us may have built airy castles in mind....but have you ever thought of putting your imagination to reality??
Perhaps NO!!!  a big no!!  There are various limitations in society, in world that put our imaginations to test.
And yes most of us surrender to tyranny of the world., tyranny of the society.
Imagine an aggressive thought in mind gets you in rage and act fiercely. So you can wonder how powerful a thought is and still you are trying to block it just because it does not satisfy worldly parameters.
i didn't mean that getting in  rage is a good thing but other feelings like the love, compassion... i mean blocking such pure feeling is like choking your breath.. and then you can imagine what happens when you avoid breathing.....
Similary to block such a pure  feeling that miraculously try to take you to a new vistas is like committing a suicide.

i had a bit of this suppressing nature before i met her..
but my godddddd!!!!!  i mean  phewwwwww!!!!   Damn good yar!!!! i mean i feel a kind of upheavel inside
me...... my shackles of mind are broken so very instantly....like i said yesterday..i was upon cloud no.9....

ha ha ha.....i think i am getting stupid now or is it???
but.... but.... but ....i think stupidity is a good thing.....
because only stupidity has a chance of improvement unlike that of a perfection that don't have even a single bit of chance of improvement..because a perfection has touched its limits...
sooooo!!!!  i prefer being stupid.....
and i give advice to everyone that stay stupid yar....it's good to be stupid...

stupidity has one more advantage.....that  u can express the inner beauty of the soul with an obvious flow....
i mean i never had the guts to tell everybody like this.....
i took upon meditation to improve  myself. yeah it worked  but not that much....
then music!!!!!  hmmmmm!!!...yes man i am talking about music.........  its brilliant!!!!!!!....i enjoy playing guitar and composing songs very much of all my daily activities.......   
and finally the xyz factor........god damn it.....i can just feel it...can't explain it in words....its inexplicable!!!
Like i said....Leonardo painting a Mona Lisa...
ha ha ha....again  i m getting so stupid!!!
but remember folks..... Stay stupid!!! Stay enlightened!!!

oh my god!!! oh my god!!!  Did i say "stay stupid,stay intelligent"????
Damn!!! i m so good sometimes!!!
i don't know how i talk such a good crap!!! ha ha ha...
now you must be getting bored!!!!!  so enough for today!!!!
so the moral of  the story is...."stay stupid,stay enlightened"
good bye for today....  i'll appreciate your feed backs...






 

Beauty

i met her recently, when i went for my core java classes.  Yeah..... she had a grace on her face.  i must confess she was beautiful...i liked her.
her name is (xyz)*...a name like that a star of page3.
i am not very talkative....but yeah sometimes i am very of it........so i was desperate to talk to her.
that night i messaged all my friends...dat i met a new girl....i was excited. i was trying to find a way to talk to her. and then as usual my creative instincts churned out a new idea..........

excuse me....are you xyz??  i asked
yeah fool i am xyz.....she must have thought in her mind..
 yeah i am....!!!! - she said...and then i began talking to her....
 before leaving i said to her...lets meet online tonite...
ok !!!-she said

oh my god!!!  wat a  pretty smile she had.....

we met that night online...talked for an half an hour....then she said......gn  n signed out....
oh my god!!! oh my god!!! i was upon cloud no.9.... i messaged all my frnds......

i was not excited because i was falling for her..or i have any intentions of flirting with her....well i am very worst on doing that...i dont have such good prowess for that..

it was because she wiped out all the past pains of my mine which i was carrying with me. and she did it very instantly.
this was not the same feeling as i felt when i fell in love for the first time... it was different....
a feeling that triggered my creativity very furiously.. i don't think it was love for her but i felt as if i am Leornado Da Vinci  painting a Mona Lisa....ha ha ha.....what a great feeling that was.....it filled my head..
i lost consciousness and entered into a state of bliss. it was same as that i used to feel while mediating. the only difference was, it was more powerful bliss.. it was a good experience....

i asked her for her phone no. last night.....
number??? -she said....
phone no.!!! -i said...
ok!!!
but i share it with my mom....-she said
ha ha ha......that was the most funniest of all things i heard yesterday....by this thing she proved that she was a girl.
she might be thinking that i am trying to flirt or trying to do someting like that....

idiot!!!! i m sure you must be having more than one personal cell... n u r telling me that u share a cell with your mom... i was just trying to be frns!!!-i said in my mind....

anyways..... despite of all of this stupidity of hers.....10 on 10 for her..

so now miss xyz...marches in....


* name has been removed due to privacy terms......